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-   -   Exploring This Option (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4167)

MusicalRose 11-08-2010 08:44 PM

Exploring This Option
Hello All,

I am a 22-year-old female senior in college and my boyfriend is a 24-year-old senior in college. We have a long distance relationship and plan on moving in together as soon as we both graduate in the spring. He and I have been together for two years.

We have had a non-exclusive relationship for some time now. Unfortunately, I don't have the dates for when it started. Even though we are non-exclusive, neither of us have been intimate with very many other people and neither of us have had intercourse with other people.

At this point I think I am joining the forums to start to talk to other people who are polyamorous since there don't seem to be too many around in my social circles. We are also kind of curious on how to move into sparking relationships with other people. We are both kind of shy and have been out of the dating game for more than two years now. While neither of us has expressed any jealousy issues, we are both afraid of hurting the other in pursuing another relationship and we are kind of wondering how to break the ice and make that first step so that we can really get into seeing if this works for us and if it is something that we would like to do for the rest of our lives.

Any advice is appreciated. I will be looking around the forums a bit more in depth now to see if there are topics relevant to the questions I just asked.


Danny40179 11-08-2010 09:26 PM

Welcome MusicalRose! I'm sure you'll find lots of great info and awesome people to help you out with questions.

If you and your significant other are open and honest with each other and anyone else that you may bring in to your relationship then this journey will be a touch easier. Notice I said touch, because there's nothing easy about being in a poly-amorous relationship, but if done right the rewards are tremendous.

Have fun looking around and make lots of friends!! :)

MusicalRose 11-08-2010 09:48 PM

Thanks for the welcome Danny!

My boyfriend and I are very open and honest with each other. I don't think there are any secrets that I keep from him or that he keeps from me.

I am hoping to make some new friends here and to make some connections for wherever he and I end up settling down once we graduate.

CielDuMatin 11-09-2010 01:08 PM

Musical Rose, I'm not a big fan of the dating scene at all - what I find works well is getting to know folks more as friends in a social atmosphere. That is a low-pressure way of meeting folk. Sometimes you meet someone where there is a spark, and things can grow from there, but it feels much more natural to me.

Most areas of the country have some sort of poly group - you didn't indicate where you are from, or where your partner lives, but there are many resources out there.

MusicalRose 11-09-2010 02:08 PM

We both live in Ohio, although we are both in different cities at the moment.

I don't like the dating scene as such either. I guess I was more talking about the experience of being single and flirting with people and getting the guts to get more involved. That is what I meant by being out of the dating scene. I have plenty of friends I have thought about getting involved with, but didn't go through with it for one reason or another. I agree that getting to know people and finding that spark is the best way to go. Meeting people isn't the problem. It is what to do once I meet them that I am having trouble with.

Thanks for the reply!

MusicalRose 08-26-2012 11:25 PM

This is kind of an old topic, but since I didn't stick around much after I joined, I figured I'd bump my intro thread just to kind of reintroduce myself.

My boyfriend is now my fiance, and I have a new boyfriend that I am seeing as well. In two weeks, we are all moving in to a townhouse together. I have been seeing my boyfriend since January and my fiance and I are looking to be wed next June.

Neither of my partners has another partner at the moment. Each of them has had at least one other hook-up, with my fiance having a few more, but none that have panned out into any sort of relationship yet.

I figured that this could be a good place to come back and just discuss things in general, since most other facets of my life aren't too poly friendly. We did find a local poly group, and we go to their monthly meetings quite regularly.

So I guess hello again everybody. :-D

getliftedagain 08-27-2012 03:35 PM

hI Rose , welcome back ! my wife and I are very new to this lifestyle and joined this site to meet like-minded people and discuss all the trials and tribulations of this lifestyle .... we were married 17 years faithfully before deciding to try this out ... the reason we tried this was because we love each other very much and want to stay married and grow old together , but we want a little more ... socially .... if you know what I mean ....

MusicalRose 08-27-2012 03:44 PM

That absolutely makes sense. My fiance and I want to spend our entire lives together, but we also still want to have those opportunities to get close to other people and experience new relationship energy all over again.

I wish you and your wife the best. It isn't an easy path to walk, but it can be very rewarding and lend itself to a lot of personal and relationship growth that you may never have even expected. :-)

kdt26417 08-28-2012 04:12 AM

Welcome again, MusicalRose. :)

MusicalRose 08-28-2012 03:52 PM

Thank you. :-) I look forward to being more involved in the forum this time around.

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