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-   -   How Do You Prefer to Receive Bad News? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4158)

eklctc 11-07-2010 11:30 PM

How Do You Prefer to Receive Bad News?
 
As I've been going through this relationship change with my partners, and awaiting the outcome of our association in general, the subject line has been on my mind. Personally, I don't mind receiving bad news from my partner by way of text or email. I actually prefer it. For me, I would rather be in a place of comfort where I am better equipped to deal with the negative energy versus travel away from my home to receive bad news (i.e. a break-up) just to have to manage to control the turmoil long enough to make it back to a place of comfort where I can crumble.

What about you?

Fidelia 11-08-2010 03:09 AM

For me it's not so much about where the bad news gets delivered, it's about how. I prefer my bad news (of whatever variety) straight up with a chaser of honesty and compassion.

FlameKat 11-08-2010 03:14 AM

Depends on the situation
 
Some bad news to me is easy off the cuff - better to deal with in company... i.e um terribly sorry but your car was stolen....
as opposed to those deep deep pains that come instantly on hearing of the death of someone close - those I like to deal with by myself at a beach or forest, in a natural environment away from bystanders.

Other bad news - being rejected by a loved one - I tend to curl up in my bed and sob my heart out, until I am able to put it aside and start living again - with visits to my natural happy place to regain my balance periodically (this goes for the death one as well - just its step 2 instead of step 1)

but largely it depends on how deeply the news hits and where in my heart it hits...

In a way I suppose that leaves my loved ones out in the cold for a bit... I become very introspective and moody until I have refound that balance, and haven't yet found a way to let someone into that process. It's my pain, and I will deal with it...

eklctc 11-08-2010 03:00 PM

@Fidelia- Once I can edit, I will add that into the original post. I posted the question with the presumption that straightforward, honesty delivery was understood. I mean, why would you involve yourself with people who didn't communicate that way in general? So, my focus is the method used for delivery.

@Flamekat- Thanks. I guess I should have posted a more clear question. The question is really geared towards relationships since that is really the basis of this site. I mean, some people view any other delivery that isn't 'in person' as impersonal and require any serious, and possibly negative, communications about the relationship to be delivered in person. I'm like you when it comes to news that affects me emotionally. I withdraw, cry, and assume the fetal position so I would rather not have to travel for such news.

Jodi 11-10-2010 03:17 PM

aww, i hope that it works out for you. i don't want you to crumble.

hopefully you can get support or even find it here if you feel like you need it.

i was going to say, how do i prefer to get bad news?

sugarcoated!

ray 11-11-2010 04:28 AM

I like it to come swiftly. You can usually feel it hanging over your head like a dead goat, so best to just get it over with. Once it comes, I like it come as kindly as it can, of course.


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