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-   -   Coming out? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41005)

Cookies 02-20-2013 03:43 AM

Coming out?
 
Not sure if this is the place for this but how does this sound as a coming out post? Keep in mind I live very far away from almost all of my family and friends ( I live in California but am from Florida and I am only fb friends with about 50 people. All real life friends and family, no one I don't really know.)

I know this isn't really Facebook appropriate, but I want to make as many people as possible in my life aware at once. I am in an additional relationship with someone -T-. We love each other and he is an important part of my life. Labels are difficult and usually not accurate but the closest title is "boyfriend". -J- is still and always will be my soulmate and we have a love and bond that nothing in the universe could ever change. Again labels are stupid, I have never thought "husband" accurately defines all that J is to me. J and I feel this is a natural evolution of ourselves and things we have been interested in almost since the beginning. The three of us respect each other, are aware of all aspects of the relationships, and want them to succeed. I welcome any and all comments, viewpoints, and questions with the exception of direct disrespect to me, J, or T. :)

LovingRadiance 02-20-2013 04:57 AM

I think I would start more simply with something along the lines of

"want all of our close family and friends to know that J and I are mutually choosing a polyamorous lifestyle for ourselves. If any of you would like more detailed info, we would be happy to elaborate."

Give people some time to digest that (if they r on fb, they likely can do a google search on what polyamorous means). Those who couldnt care less wont mention it, those with interest, fear or concern will.

Then after that "intro to coming out" just start posting your happy moments/thoughts or whatever regarding both partners.

But-thats just me. I am out to everyone in my life. Thats roughly how We came out and it went very smoothly all of the way around.

NovemberRain 02-20-2013 06:08 AM

me? I couldn't do it that way. I'd spend a weekend calling everyone. But you know your people better than we do.

I allowed myself to listen to my gay friends when I came out as queer to my parents. I *knew* my parents didn't care, but after listening to so many horror stories, I allowed myself to get all freaked out. They kindly spent about half an hour trying to tell me in the gentlest way possible, 'so what?'

So, when it came to poly, I just had conversations with all my closest people.

I had an episode where I tried to tell something important to them in a casual way, and aspects of our relationship were irreparably harmed. So, that's why I always have a conversation.


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