Longtime lurker from Michigan, finally here.
Hi everybody, and, well, here goes nothing I suppose.
I'm originally from Michigan here in the states. Having come to the realization that I'm poly about three years ago, I started searching for information. The forum here was among those that cropped up early and became a good source. I lurked for a good long while eyeballing various threads, absorbing terminology and what parallels I could draw, as well as trying to grasp my own situation with some degree of certainty.
I am heterosexual, married as of the end of last year, and while my wife is comfortable with the idea of additional relationships within limits (I was evidently "the exception," she is bi and vastly prefers women to men most times), I've never had a multiple-person relationship beyond an emotional one.
You may ask how I know I'm polyamorous with a statement like that, to be honest I do as well sometimes. I've had very few people around me who I would describe as positive and levelheaded examples of the community, and of those who have been, the one who was closest to us (a dear friend of my wife's, who was very nearly her girlfriend) passed away after catastrophic complications from an asthma attack last year.
What I can say about that is that I do believe that I have the capacity to love more than one person at a time, on an emotional level and beyond. My wife is someone I care for deeply; she is my anchor and my heart. However, I do believe I love, and have loved, other women in addition to her.
My issue's mostly been an I-know-how-to-pick-'em problem; no one I've ever fallen for has been polyamorous and no one has been even close to thinking of polyamory as something that was easy to wrap one's head around. Granted, I've had plenty of trouble with that myself, but that's made it even harder for me to explain, and downright herculean to try and make progress with.
Ultimately I'm looking forward to seeing if I can contribute and assist in the community while better defining my presence within it. This hasn't been an easy track for me, but what I have done has been worth it and I want to go further.
Welcome to our forum.
It sounds like you identify as polyamorous as an orientation, even if your life situation doesn't match up to it yet. Are there any poly groups not too far from you? For example, if you google "Michigan polyamory" does anything promising turn up?
Anyway, I am glad if Polyamory.com has been helpful to you so far, and hope it will continue to be. Don't hesitate to post any thoughts or questions you want to share.
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