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-   -   Hello (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4086)

SortOf 10-28-2010 01:22 AM

My name is Michael and me and my wife are both 29-years-old. We have been happily married for nine years and have been in poly for 11 months. My wife is the one with the boyfriend, who is 40-years-old. A year and a half ago my wife confessed to me that she wanted to have a second relationship with another man. I agreed and in return, came out to her that I was bi-curious and I helped her on her quest to find another partner. After months and months of searching we finally found him and so far the relationship with him is great. However since their relationship started, wife and her boyfriend are constantly asking me to join them in highly-sexual threesomes and I am continually rejecting their offers. I will be honest, it is a turn-on knowing that she's giving her mind, body and soul to another man (who's also attractive and very well-endowed), but i'm still nervous to take it to that NEXT level by jumping in the bed with both of them. I don't know what to do. Does anyone feel like this?

redpepper 10-28-2010 07:59 AM

Can't you just be turned on and not have a threesome? There is no reason you have to. There is also no rush either. Is it that they keep asking that worries you? You feel bad for saying no? Or the actual act of a threesome with them?

sage 10-28-2010 09:17 AM

I was bi-curious also, but found the experience off-putting. I still don't know if it was just the partner that we had who I was not sexually compatible with, because I have felt attracted to lesbians in the past, but I'm in no hurry to repeat it.

I think you need to find some transparency: work out what your fears are and discuss these with your partner.

SortOf 11-23-2010 12:37 AM

Oh well
Haven't been here in a while since I first posted. My wife broke it off with her boyfriend three weeks ago. She found out he was seeing someone else for the last three months. Basically, he broke one of our rules. It does surprises me that my wife isn't all that sad. I mean she has cried about it, but it's like she hasn't completely mourned over it. To be honest, we did kind of invest a considerable amount of time into this person. I don't know, maybe this is a good thing. Shows how strong she is.;) We're looking for another partner currently and the next time we find someone, we're going to take it even slooooowwweeerrrr.

Bear 11-24-2010 06:48 PM

taking it slow is always a good idea. but as to the threesom. try next time not worrying about interreacting with her partner but with her. my wife has a boyfriend and we have had a threesom but he and i are not active together. might try that next time your wife askes you to get together with her and her bf.

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