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-   Introductions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   introductions....ooops (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40633)

jmk 02-14-2013 12:05 PM

introductions....ooops
 
when i first joined a few days ago, i posted my intro in the wrong area. i decided to copy the info to the actual place that i wanted it to be...

post 1:
name is jen, and my partner of 15 years kc and i are deep into the open relationship, we just haven't branched out much. he is happy with his two girls, but i am finding it difficult to find like minded people who interest me. i am 42, bi and am interested in meeting someone interested in a secondary relationship, i have found my primary.

Post 2:
ok, so persons wish to have more information in my introduction. i will try to oblige. we are jen and kc, partners for 17 years and in an open relationship for 12. we started as a monogamous couple, then kc introduced the idea of an open relationship. he is more social, more open and has been able to find 2 long term girlfriends that he is happy with. jen (i) on the other hand, is not so open, is not so sharing and has not been "out" there looking for someone actively. i am interested in finding people who have the same mindset so that, if i become friendly with someone, i can find my "other".

kc would prefer i start with a woman, as he has never had to experience the jealousy of having to share with another man, but i cannot dictate who will interest me, nor should i have to limit myself if we are truly open. i just would like to meet more people than the few that i know that are into poly relationships so that i have a wider base to "choose" from. we need to find someone who is understanding of the lifestyle and is not looking for their primary relationship in me, unless they wish to be a second primary. kc and i have 2 teenaged girls and that relationship remains my core, and he is involved in my "other" choices. if he doesn't get along with my other, the relationship won't work.
:rolleyes:
we have had many ups and downs to get to this point. this life is not an easy choice. i have not felt comfortable, until recently, with coming out as pansexual and as poly to the general public. i am a very private person. we have a small group of poly friends and i have read all that i can get my hands on. but it is time to get out of the classroom, and out into life. i am happy that i found this forum, and hope that i can gain insight and give my own view on this life venture....

kdt26417 02-14-2013 11:57 PM

Welcome jen,

Your intro seems to be fine, thanks for posting it. If you are looking for friends and potential dates you might want to post on the Dating & Friendships subforum (if you haven't already).

You mentioned that kc has two girlfriends (b and d), and that he is telling you to hook up with women only. If it's not too bold for me to say it, that sounds a little unfair to you. It's not like kc is limited to boyfriends only. Still, you have to figure out what works for you, everything is not always in balance.

I hope you have enjoyed your time on Polyamory.com so far, and that you will continue to enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

SchrodingersCat 02-15-2013 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmk (Post 184524)
kc would prefer i start with a woman, as he has never had to experience the jealousy of having to share with another man, but i cannot dictate who will interest me, nor should i have to limit myself if we are truly open. i just would like to meet more people than the few that i know that are into poly relationships so that i have a wider base to "choose" from.

I would prefer that my floor never require mopping... doesn't mean I have any reasonable expectation that it's going to happen.

Good for you for standing up for yourself and acknowledging that what's good for the gander is good for the goose. He doesn't get to be on board for an open relationship only so far as it doesn't inconvenience him. He'll just have to feel the jealousy and learn how to cope with it.

jmk 02-15-2013 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat (Post 184616)
I would prefer that my floor never require mopping... doesn't mean I have any reasonable expectation that it's going to happen.

lol! love this.

i did mention years of ups and downs. it was lopsided for many years, and we have come to the understanding of that....basically he heard me for the first time after 9 or so years of me asking why it was fair? it wasn't. i also am somewhat to blame as i did small forays into looking and then gave up and hid behind the title for years. i went through a few years of being the babysitter. now that my girls are 13 and 12, i don't have to be the one to stay home anymore.

thanks for the advise on where to post if i am looking for a "hookup"... i am experiencing some interesting reactions to my being on the big media site and changing my status to open relationship. waiting to see where this part of the road takes me.

kdt26417 02-15-2013 08:29 PM

Well I wish you good luck and good love, and think you are taking the right steps so far.


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