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vwebguy 02-13-2013 02:54 PM

New Poly curious
 
Hey!

I recently ran across an article on polyamory while researching the idea of asking my wife for an open marriage. The polyamory sounds like something more in tune to the way I have always been wired. We are married 20 years and I have always been missing something. I love my wife dearly and we have 4 children... BUT. I need more and different things she can provide. When I say "things" I don't mean sexual. I mean emotional, spiritual or other *ional things I can't think of right now. I hope I am making some sense to people here.

She has always spoke about being bi-curious and recently I have become a little curious myself. I am not saying I want a relationship with another man but I would consider it in the context of a triangle.

We have been having intimacy problems I have urged her somewhat jokingly to get a boyfriend but I am actually rather serious. I guess in a way to back door the idea if she has a boyfriend I can have a friend of my own.

I guess what I am looking for is advice on how to handle seriously bringing up the subject of polyamory with her. I think polyamory would be easier to swallow than "open marriage". I am not looking for permission to cheat I am looking for permission to bring more love and add another level of love to our relationship.

Anyone get me? I am not sure if I am getting the point across.

Thank you all in advance.

kdt26417 02-14-2013 01:15 AM

Hi vwebguy,
Welcome to our forum.

I guess the best approach would be to tell your wife, "I have something important I need to talk about. When would be a good time for you for us to have a sit-down together?" Then, when the appointed time comes, tell her, "I have been reading and studying about polyamory and I am interested in it. Can you tell me what your feelings are about it? Perhaps you could take same time to read and learn about it and get back to me?"

Some good sources of "starter info" are:
Polyamory is all about love in general, but sex is usually a part of that (and is the reason why most people have a hard time wrapping their mind around it). As far as I can tell, your post makes sense, and you just have to look for ways to explain it to your wife. It sounds like there's a good chance that she at least partly understands the idea.

Just let us know if you have more thoughts, questions, and/or concerns.

Regards,
Kevin T.


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