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-   -   Heartbroken (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40534)

Passionate1 02-12-2013 08:02 PM

Well... all that work and it still ended. Breaking up sucks no matter what... So now I am a poly woman in a relatively monogamous relationship again. And I am not so sure I will be able to put myself out there again =(

ManofDiscovery 02-12-2013 08:06 PM

Sorry to hear that. These things are always really raw in the immediate aftermath.

See what a good dose of time does for your feelings on the situation.

Passionate1 02-12-2013 08:12 PM

Its been a couple of weeks. And I am quite aware that isn't enough time yet. Just feels like torture because he keeps reaching out to me.

ManofDiscovery 02-12-2013 08:25 PM

I used to date a girl like that...we'd break up and I'd move on a few weeks later...

...then she would contact me out of the blue, and stir up a bunch of drama again...

...then we'd stop talking...and she'd appear again...

...ugh. It's like every time the person gets in contact it resets your 'moving-on-ometer'.

Anneintherain 02-13-2013 12:31 AM

Sorry you are hurting. Might be a good idea to ask him to stop contacting you for awhile (most people seem to like at least 30 days of no contact if possible, which seems to enable friendliness/friendships to survive the breakup)

kemperfish 02-13-2013 01:58 AM

I am very sorry to hear of your pain. We had a bad break up with a man who was in a V with us and was also my male partners friend for many years. During and immediatley after the break up, I felt like the world was crushing me even though it was my idea to break up. 6 months removed, I am able to think of him fondly and am able to verbalize that I miss him at times. He did contact me three times after the break up via texting. I had to finally say enough is enough and said "thank you, goodbye." There has been no further contact. I support the idea of asking him to stop contacting you, at least for the time being to allow some perspective to emerge.
I am still not putting myself out there fully, but I am taking baby steps toward getting back into it again. Never stop walking on your chosen path!
Hopefully, that works for you and spares you and added pain. God speed in your healing process.

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