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-   -   Vee vs. Triad (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40525)

Moneypenny 02-12-2013 04:24 PM

Vee vs. Triad
 
I know there are numerous threads about this topic but its difficult to search on my phone and I tried looking up "vee vs. triad" and it told me that "vee" is too short, lol.

Anyway, so here's the deal:

Theoretically, if I'm in a relationship with M and C and they aren't involved other than being really close friends, I know that is considered a Vee.

But if M and C and myself have threesomes together, isn't that more like triad behavior? Or is that still a Vee since they aren't necessarily doing anything sexual to each other, only to me.

Natja 02-12-2013 05:18 PM

Some people who are very emotionally close to their metamour sometimes use triad to emphasise their emotional (if not sexual) commitment to the relationship with each other. Technically though most people would say that a triadic relationship is one in which there is a partnership of some sort involved and not just the occasional sexual interaction.

Phy 02-12-2013 06:03 PM

To keep it as simple as possible: poly is about feelings, not just about sex. Most would classify a triad as a relationship configuration where all three people are romantically involved with each other. Could even be non-sexual involvement; just emotions. In a vee two of the three people aren't emotionally involved with each other.

Therefore the realtionship you describe is a vee. They don't have sex with each other, they are involved with you but are close friends. As long as they don't say that they are 'in love' the most accurate term would be a vee :)

Ah right; Edit: There is search function with tags. You will find 'vee' or 'triad' there.

Derbylicious 02-13-2013 01:34 AM

It's all just terminology, find what you feel fits best for you. No 2 poly relationships are exactly alike.

JaneQSmythe 02-13-2013 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moneypenny (Post 184152)
Theoretically, if I'm in a relationship with M and C and they aren't involved other than being really close friends, I know that is considered a Vee.

But if M and C and myself have threesomes together, isn't that more like triad behavior? Or is that still a Vee since they aren't necessarily doing anything sexual to each other, only to me.

This pretty much describes our situation exactly. I use the term Vee to describe it. I have seen one group here refer to their configuration as "sexual Vee, emotional triad." The terminology is only a short-cut - it has no meaning beside that. It's not as though there are different "rules" for Vee's vs. Triads - so if you think it is important (for some aspect of a discussion) to make that distinction that you do have threesomes, then go ahead and do that.

I find that, in discussions about sex on these forums, I do tend to make a point that while WE do engage in the occasional threesome (with me as the "center of attention" as the boys are straight), that group sex (of whatever number/variety) should not be considered any kind of requirement/norm for poly relationships in general. Nor is cohabitation (which is something else we do). Some poly relationships are "closed" (Poly-Fi), ours is "open" (each person could seek other partners if they so desired - for sex or for romance). Every config is different and shaped by it's participants.

JaneQ


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