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-   -   So I'm writing a letter.... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40401)

Pyuvii 02-10-2013 10:05 PM

So I'm writing a letter....
 
I'm miserable at talking face to face about feelings, so I'm writing a boy I've been 'talking' with a letter to explain my feels and the fact that I'm poly.

I feel like it will work out alright, but I'm really really nervous about it.

I'm still new to this, so I'm not sure how best to explain the relationship, and what I'm looking for, I guess? Haha, I'm still new to dating, period, so... XD

Anyone wanna take a look at it and proof read? :D

I'm typing it up and then I'm going to write it on some pretty stationary I have when I'm done ^_^

SchrodingersCat 02-11-2013 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyuvii (Post 183801)
I'm miserable at talking face to face about feelings, so I'm writing a boy I've been 'talking' with a letter to explain my feels and the fact that I'm poly.

I feel like it will work out alright, but I'm really really nervous about it.

I'm still new to this, so I'm not sure how best to explain the relationship, and what I'm looking for, I guess? Haha, I'm still new to dating, period, so... XD

Anyone wanna take a look at it and proof read? :D

I'm typing it up and then I'm going to write it on some pretty stationary I have when I'm done ^_^

I can take a look at it... without knowing what you're looking for and what your existing relationship structure is, not much more I can about that :P

Helo 02-12-2013 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyuvii (Post 183801)
I'm miserable at talking face to face about feelings, so I'm writing a boy I've been 'talking' with a letter to explain my feels and the fact that I'm poly.

I feel like it will work out alright, but I'm really really nervous about it.

I'm still new to this, so I'm not sure how best to explain the relationship, and what I'm looking for, I guess? Haha, I'm still new to dating, period, so... XD

Anyone wanna take a look at it and proof read? :D

I'm typing it up and then I'm going to write it on some pretty stationary I have when I'm done ^_^

I'd say write it just to make sure you have everything down you want to say, then torch it.

Seriously, a letter helps get your head on the right track but other than that it does you no favors. The absolute best thing to do is talk to them about it face to face. Yes, you'll probably look like a derp, but that's ok. Its endearing as fuck and far more memorable than a letter.

opalescent 02-12-2013 05:06 PM

What Helo said.

As someone who also really prefers the written word and hates the awkward conversation, write a letter to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head. They are much easier to organize and sort through outside of your brain.

Then go talk to the cute boy. Yes, awkwardness. Not fun. But facing the awkward and talking anyway - no matter how strained or weird or ineptly - is a crucial life skill. (One I am still working on so you are far from alone!)

Plus I call poly the Land of Awkward Conversations. Shit never stops! Once you figure out how to explain poly to a newbie, then you have to talk over a situation with a metamour! Then your partner wigs out on NRE and you have to have the 'get your head back in the game' conversation. Then a metamour's metamour gets all weird and there are repercussions in your relationship and on and on.

Pyuvii 02-12-2013 10:39 PM

I ended up giving him the letter yesterday.

I have serious issues when trying to talk about important things (like I go mute DX ) so I didn't want to risk miscommunication because it does take a lot of explaining >_<

He wrote me a letter back too XD

and then we talked about everything more for a while and it worked out! :D

Oh mai! D:
I've never been/had a metamour yet (though it looks like I might soon! Yay! :D ) so that'll be interesting!

SchrodingersCat 02-14-2013 10:09 PM

Verbalizing isn't for everyone, and it's better to be clear in a letter than confused and jumbled out loud.

People can, and do, use letters to communicate difficult issues throughout their entire relationship. It works for them, so just because your preferred method is the spoken word, doesn't mean it's the only effective method.

SchrodingersCat 02-14-2013 10:11 PM

Plus, you can't tuck a conversation into a memories box the way you can with a love letter. Love letters have been around since the invention of paper, for a reason.

Pyuvii 02-15-2013 03:24 PM

Yes, I am going to keep this letter forever, and I have a suspicion he will too XD

[strike]I'll update my blogy thingy later today, I was gonna wait till we actually go on an official date, but he's away for a week, so I prolly should update it before that.[/strike]
Blog updated!!

oh! Also my girlfriend copied me and gave a letter to the girl she liked and now they are dating! It's all sorts of happy over here!! :D


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