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-   -   D/s (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40098)

AphroditeGoneAwry 02-05-2013 01:34 PM

D/s
 
Thoughts? Interest? Experience?

nycindie 02-05-2013 02:31 PM

Have you done a search?
 
There is already a huge thread here: BDsm

It's perfectly acceptable here to add to older threads, so feel free to resurrect it. No need for a new one.

AphroditeGoneAwry 02-09-2013 08:47 PM

I'd like to find someone worthy of dominating me. I'd like to find someone to fit me that way. Someone to pull my strings and make me move how they want me to move which is also how I need to move (for me). Someone as intense as me. And who can tone me down and make me behave and get a grip. But someone who also knows when I know best.

Sigh. Yeah. Pretty impossible.

kdt26417 02-09-2013 11:09 PM

I hope you find that someone that you're looking for.

Sincerely,
KDT

AphroditeGoneAwry 02-10-2013 11:41 AM

Thank You. It's been quite a road of discovery for me. :o

Part of wanting a master is also just seeking the right mate for me. When I find someone worthy to mate with, who also wants to forego lusts of the flesh and other materialistic pursuits in exchange for greater depth and meaning in life and relationship, I will also find someone worthy to be my master. Someone who can discipline me. But since I'm a switch, they will need to submit to me as well.

I realize that is much harder for me than the general public. Most people just look for someone nice and attractive and they're set. I'm extremely discerning about finding a mate, a partner. That also applies to finding someone to share bodily love with. I find few people interesting to me enough to be sexual with (demi-sexual), much less to have an intense relationship with. But I think this is because trying to find someone to fit me is just not easy. I'm weird and I have a very dominating personality. And I am turned on by intelligence. All of these things make finding a mate very difficult. If someone will fit me, they will also be my Master.

BrigidsDaughter 02-10-2013 01:20 PM

Honestly, I don't get this "But since I'm a switch, they will need to submit to me as well." Personally, I'm a masochist and switch. I have two great guys who are able to satisfy my needs for pain and domination, but I would never expect them to be submissive to me. They just aren't submissive. And that's okay. We're polly, so I have the option of building a relationship with someone who is submissive if I choose to. I'm also bi-sexual, so I'd have the option of building a relationship with a female submissive if I felt like it too. The only problem I've encountered thus far is that there are a great many men who would love to worship the ground I walk on, submit to me, etc. And most women seem to be afraid that I'm looking for a unicorn and don't reply.

AphroditeGoneAwry 02-10-2013 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter (Post 183728)
Honestly, I don't get this "But since I'm a switch, they will need to submit to me as well." Personally, I'm a masochist and switch. I have two great guys who are able to satisfy my needs for pain and domination, but I would never expect them to be submissive to me. They just aren't submissive. And that's okay. We're polly, so I have the option of building a relationship with someone who is submissive if I choose to. I'm also bi-sexual, so I'd have the option of building a relationship with a female submissive if I felt like it too. The only problem I've encountered thus far is that there are a great many men who would love to worship the ground I walk on, submit to me, etc. And most women seem to be afraid that I'm looking for a unicorn and don't reply.


Well, I think that there are as many relationship variations as there are people. :)

If you prefer to have different partners fill different roles, then that is great for you.

Do you find that you do much discipline with your relationship with your 'guys'? Or is it more about S & M with them?

BrigidsDaughter 02-10-2013 02:31 PM

I guess that would depend on the definition of discipline. I am very very much a masochist, so pretty much any from of pain is a reward, not a punishment. It plays out very differently with Runic Wolf (hubby) than it does with Wendigo (bf). With Runic Wolf it's very much S&M with less D/s; because of events in my childhood, I have difficulty with the idea that wives should submit to their husbands, and had a hard time with the concept of being submissive to him. Which was really hard for him because he's a wonderful man who is nothing like the abusive step father I grew up with, but we're easing into D/S because it triggers a strong need in me to fight back and be bratty/ bitchy.

With Wendigo, it's different. He isn't my husband, so I don't feel that automatic need to fight. That "your not the boss of me" mentality just isn't there. So definitely more S&M than D/s, but it's more like 60/40.

And with both of them D/s is a strictly an in the bedroom thing. I'm not into 24/7 D/s and I never will be. My masochist side is much stronger and I would be happy being a lovely shade of ouch 24/7, but that just isn't possible.

AphroditeGoneAwry 02-10-2013 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter (Post 183732)
I guess that would depend on the definition of discipline. I am very very much a masochist, so pretty much any from of pain is a reward, not a punishment. It plays out very differently with Runic Wolf (hubby) than it does with Wendigo (bf). With Runic Wolf it's very much S&M with less D/s; because of events in my childhood, I have difficulty with the idea that wives should submit to their husbands, and had a hard time with the concept of being submissive to him. Which was really hard for him because he's a wonderful man who is nothing like the abusive step father I grew up with, but we're easing into D/S because it triggers a strong need in me to fight back and be bratty/ bitchy.

With Wendigo, it's different. He isn't my husband, so I don't feel that automatic need to fight. That "your not the boss of me" mentality just isn't there. So definitely more S&M than D/s, but it's more like 60/40.

And with both of them D/s is a strictly an in the bedroom thing. I'm not into 24/7 D/s and I never will be. My masochist side is much stronger and I would be happy being a lovely shade of ouch 24/7, but that just isn't possible.


Interesting! I think that the way I am--the way I'm twisted and the way I've turned in my life--means I am cognizant of the 24/7 thing. So even though I'm too dominant to be sub 24/7, I suspect that my partner will be sub when I'm not.

And it would definitely exist outside the bedroom! That is what is so exciting about it. It's a lifestyle, not just another sex position or scene.

Thanks for sharing you thoughts.

BrigidsDaughter 02-10-2013 03:39 PM

I agree that it is a life style, but I don't live with Wendigo. There are elements of it all in our day to day interactions, but I guess for me 24/7 speaks of letting someone else do the talking for you, sitting at their feet, being collared, etc. Definitely stuff I can't and shouldn't do with a 10 year old in the house and a 16 year old at Wendigo's house. If my guys were switches too, I'm sure we'd be able to work something out, but they're not and I can't be submissive 24/7.


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