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-   -   Timing (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3977)

Hourglass 10-15-2010 04:29 PM

Im so excited to be having my second official date with Echo later today. Hang out and talk, have dinner and then probably go out dancing. All great.
But this morning I wake up to hear Slinky (my "primary", living together) having a battle with last nights dinner. Do I cancel the date, stay home and take care of him? Slinky is always so great about taking care of me, its part of why I'm with him. He's always ready to make me soup or bring me a blanket, rub my neck, whatever I need. He's sleeping now, and honestly I'm not much good with the mothering activities, despite my gender. (I cant cook, cleaning the apt is almost just something i do to make him happy) At the same time, Echo and I have schedules that are so different, and he's has a very busy social life (part of why I'm attracted to him). If I cancel on hm now I'm not sure how long or even if we would be able to meet up. Echo says he is fine with Poly, and I havent seen anything to suggest otherwise, but I dont want him to feel that because he is newer or "secondary" that he never gets to have my undivided attention.

SNeacail 10-15-2010 04:41 PM


mumbles 10-15-2010 04:44 PM

Hey Hourglass,

I'm totally new to this, in fact I'm going on my first 'date' with a buddy of mine tonight...

What I would say is, primary is primary - if that's the nature of your arrangement, primary always comes first. That being said, he's an adult, I'd just ask him. It shouldn't be difficult for him to give an honest answer. If you're concerned about him, let it be his call.

Hourglass 10-15-2010 05:26 PM

Thanks. The answer was there all along, just needed a reminder. Slinky is still hesitant on poly, but we're working through it together. I asked and he told me to go and have a good time, and he's feeling much better now.
Much love - Hourglass

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