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-   -   The journey begins (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3971)

Theotherhut 10-14-2010 10:32 PM

The journey begins
Well all. I am very new to this. I have felt a connection to the poly lifestyle nearly my whole life but have had nothing but negative feedback from all around. I am the son of a pastor so you can see where everything started. I am divorced. My wife and I had problems one of which was that she could not understand how I could love more than one woman at one time.

We ended up breaking up and I dated another woman for a while. My daughter asked me once why her mother did not like my girlfriend. I told her that some girls want to be the only person to love a particular man. She asked what would be so wrong with having two woman that loved one man. She said she didn't understand why I couldn't love both of them at the same time. Such wisdom and clarity from a 5 year old. My hope is that she does not become repressed into conforming to conventional thinking.

sage 10-15-2010 07:42 AM

Hi and welcome

I hope you keep posting. Are you in any relationships at the moment? It sometimes isn't easy finding women who are poly so best of luck.

Theotherhut 10-15-2010 03:01 PM

I am seeing one girl but she and I are having some issues. First she is not open to a poly lifestyle at all and second she wants kids. I have one and am not interested in having any more. I have been upfront with her about that but she represses that information.

Hourglass 10-15-2010 04:38 PM

Wisdom indded from such a little one. As far as your girldfriend goes, if kids are something either of you are not willing to compromise on, well, I think you have your answer. I know personally, that kids are out of the question, and thats a compromise that I would rather end up having my heart broken then end up with a child I didnt want. The heartache a child feels when it knows it wasnt really wanted is 1000x worse. I would know.
Best of luck on all of lifes journeys.

SNeacail 10-15-2010 04:52 PM

The kid issue is a way bigger issue than poly. If you are absolutely set in your view, don't let her "repress" the information. This will sound really cold, but sometimes it is the only way. Ask her if she still wants kids, if she says yes, then end it.

Theotherhut 10-15-2010 05:38 PM

Yes, I have tried to be blunt but I always get answers like "well yes BUT" and then she gets all soft on me. I just don't have the heart to apply tough love. I know that I suck for this approach and it will bite me in the butt in the long run. Here's hoping I fall off a cliff before all that hits the fan :-P

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