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-   -   V in Middle TN (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3966)

gr8xpectations 10-14-2010 01:17 PM

V in Middle TN
Hello everyone! I am B, from middle TN. I have been happily married to R for 11 1/2 years and we have two children together who are 11 and almost 9 years old.

R and I struggled the first few years of our marriage because I was still desperately in love with my high school sweetheart, D. About 5 years ago R was finally ready to begin experimenting and we dated another couple for about a year. When they had to move, R decided he no longer wanted to pursue a relationship for himself, but finally felt comfortable enough to allow me to bring D back into my life on a physical level. D and I had been talking on the phone for hours a day for years.

D has been living 3 hours away so we only got to see each other on the weekends, sometimes having to go several weeks between visits. After 4 years D is finally moving in with us!!!

The kids love him like an uncle. They have no idea about the reality of situation and we will wait until they are older and ask questions before talking to them about it.

Both of my guys are straight, so I am the pivot point of the V. They both have permission from me to have other relationships, but neither has wanted to in the 4 years we have been in this arrangement. D would be fine with me having more partners, but my husband would rather I not, at least not with another man. I am very bi, but as you all know, meeting that special woman who is bi, and happens to like me and both of my men is nearly impossible.

I am here mostly for community. Multiple partners is greatly looked down on in this area and because of our children we basically have to be "in the closet" or their friends' parents wouldn't allow them to come over, etc.

I look forward to getting to know you guys!

ImaginaryIllusion 10-14-2010 01:41 PM

Welcome to the Forum.

Tonberry 10-14-2010 09:35 PM


Originally Posted by gr8xpectations (Post 48691)
I am very bi, but as you all know, meeting that special woman who is bi, and happens to like me and both of my men is nearly impossible.

Why would she have to be bi? Couldn't she be gay and involved with just you? Or are you looking for a female partner only if she's also involved with both your guys?

Apart from that point I didn't quite get, I think your story's really great! You guys seem to be getting along and I'm thrilled about it.

gr8xpectations 10-14-2010 10:18 PM

Thanks for the welcome! A female who would interact with my guys is the only thing I am allowed to consider for the time being. I know in the spirit of polyamory that shouldn't be an issue, but I am the one who is pushing a poly lifestyle on my guys, it is not their first choice, so I respect their wishes!

AutumnalTone 10-16-2010 11:23 PM

Welcome aboard.

gr8xpectations 11-08-2011 11:27 PM

Well, it has been a little over a year since D moved in, and it has been one of the happiest years of my life! Both guys get along sooo well, lots of Xbox 360, war/zombie movies and on the weekends we go to our farm in the country and spend a few hours shooting guns or we go camping/canoeing.

The children love D even more as part of our family. My oldest child, now 12, figured out a few months ago that D and I love each other as more than just friends, and while it was shocking at first, all was well within a few days.

D and I just celebrated 5 years together this go round and his parents and 16 year old son (who stays with us at least every other weekend) have completely accepted me as if I were D's wife.

My parents/siblings are still uncomfortable with our choice to move in together, but we are so much happier than they are in their lives, hopefully one day they will see we are not bad people.

My husband's family knows that D lives with us, but they actually believe that he is just a good family friend who is renting the in-law suite from us - hopefully they NEVER find out the truth, it would be too hard on my wonderful husband.

Anyway, life is GREAT, and getting better all the time!

ImaginaryIllusion 11-09-2011 01:23 AM

Nice. Glad to hear things are going well for you.

freyamarie 11-09-2011 08:59 PM

thank you for sharing your update. It is really wonderful to hear success stories.

AnnabelMore 11-14-2011 06:40 AM

Lovely! Thanks for sharing. :)

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