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-   -   Update on me :) (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39541)

Qpmomma 01-30-2013 04:49 AM

Update on me :)
A few months ago I posted that I am married and bisexual but my husband didn't know. And I was having feelings for my friend. Since then, I told my husband. We are now in therapy with a therapist who specializes in gay/lesbian/bisexual relationships. I told Pan how I feel about her and she feels the same way! But, since I dropped a bomb on my husband we all have decided to not pursue a relationship. My husband actually has not met her and as of right now doesn't want to. I can understand that.

Believe it or not, I am actually happy. I am happy that I am not lying anymore about my sexuality. I am happy my husband is accepting me and willing to go to therapy with me to work this out. I am happy Pan understands this entire mess and is still willing to be friends. I know this is a journey and a process. I know my husband is going through a lot right now. He says he's accepting, but needs time. He has no desire to date anyone else. He likes monogomy and if it means staying married to him, I will be happy with only him.

Pan and I are still friends. We still talk, but have cooled it down. I want my husband to know he will always be respected and I won't force something on him he either isn't ready for or doesn't want. I also respect Pan. However, she respects my marriage and wants to see that suceed first. If/when we can have a relationship I want to show her the same respect and love. Inwant her to know her boundries will be respected as well.

Sorry, this has gone on longer than I had hoped. I just wanted to give an update and say thank you for all the advice and support!

learninginTN 01-30-2013 02:47 PM

It sounds like you three have all handled this in a very mature and responsbile manner. Kudos to you all! Maybe down the road you can revisit the idea with husband, but it was wise of him to ask for time, and wise of you to give it.

Qpmomma 02-02-2013 12:29 AM

Thank you. :) Hopefully down the road Pan and I will be able to have a closer relationship. Hubby hasn't said "no" just "not right now". We are working on it.

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