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-   -   My husband has said its ok for me to love 2 men (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3946)

angel 10-12-2010 05:34 PM

My husband has said its ok for me to love 2 men
 
Hi
Things have been difficult now for 10 months. I am married and i have feelings for my husbands mate and the feelings are mutual back. I love my dh sooo much and i dont wanna leave him but i also love his friend which has developed over the 10 months especially after we slept with each other. I have always been honest with both men about everything especially the sex and at times i have slept with neither of them when things have gotten difficult.

Things seem to be changing now however. My dh has said its ok for me to try the poly way of life with him and his friend, he just doesnt want to see his mate again which i understand. We have been talking about rules too, it all seems serious and i have suggested for them to join here as it may help them, especially dh as he wants to remain mono which is up to him.

It has taken me ages to explain how i love them both but it feels like a new beginning too (i hope). I have been fighting it for nearly a year and i have tried to stay mono but it just doesnt work for me anymore. They both satisfy different sides of me and i dont want to be without either of them. The complication is that i have a son from a previous marriage, he is 5 and lives with his dad. His dad is only letting me see my son at his house at the mo because he doesnt want my son to be confused anymore which i understand but i also want to have my son visiting me again and his dad wont allow it unless i pick either one man or none. I dont know what to do?. I feel like i have to hide this new way of life because he wont understand me. Should i just tell him that i am staying with my husband?. Trouble is my son likes both men but i dont want him to be confused anymore. Any suggestions please?.

SNeacail 10-12-2010 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angel (Post 48397)
The complication is that i have a son from a previous marriage, he is 5 and lives with his dad. His dad is only letting me see my son at his house at the mo because he doesnt want my son to be confused anymore which i understand but i also want to have my son visiting me again and his dad wont allow it unless i pick either one man or none. I dont know what to do?. I feel like i have to hide this new way of life because he wont understand me. Should i just tell him that i am staying with my husband?. Trouble is my son likes both men but i dont want him to be confused anymore. Any suggestions please?.

First I would check to see if your ex's restrictions are legal. I personally would do what ever it took to get as much visitation with my kid.

You didn't mention what your living situation is, so I am a little confused.

angel 10-12-2010 09:28 PM

Hi
I live full time with my husband and i visit the other guy, he only lives across the road. My sons dad has a residency order

redpepper 10-13-2010 03:59 AM

What's a residency order??

I would do whatever it takes to see my son and be in his life. His dad is an ignorant ass if he thinks that, but if you are in your sons life then you will influence him the way you feel is more suiting.

Your son needs you in his life. I think you should go with whatever makes that happen. Time will change things... your time will come. Then you can be proud that you did right by your son.


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