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-   -   Poly in the SK (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39422)

shaeffer 01-28-2013 07:58 PM

Poly in the SK
Hello all,

I am a recent member of the poly community; I did not know that polyamory as a concept even existed until Sept/2012. I grew up in (and was never exposed to anything different than) monogamous relationships. However once I got past the initial shock to my belief system it made sense to me.

I've been married for 5 years to my wife, M. She is currently seeing B and I am in a long distance relationship with A.
Since we are all very new to being poly and having multiple relationships, it has been an experience and we are still learning.

I could say a lot of things, but they may be best left for other forums!


SchrodingersCat 01-29-2013 05:27 AM

I guess after sending you here, I should officially welcome you! :)

shaeffer 01-29-2013 03:08 PM

Thanks! I don't know why I didn't find/wasn't told about this before but I am glad to be here now. :)

kdt26417 01-30-2013 03:15 AM

Hi shaeffer,
Welcome to our forum.

I predict you will find this site to be an enjoyable experience, with lots of good people to interact with, and lots to learn. Post any thoughts or questions you may have, and see what threads call to you.

I get the impression you've had a pretty positive experience with polyamory so far, but everyone has bumps along the way, especially in the beginning. Polyamory.com can help!

Glad to have you aboard,
Kevin T.

shaeffer 01-30-2013 03:47 AM

Thanks, Kevin!

You're right; so far it has been mostly positive, but yes, with some bumps along the way.

It's felt somewhat overwhelming at times and a bit lonely having few people to talk to about it. I'm glad I've found a place I can go to talk to people!

kdt26417 01-31-2013 01:33 AM

Yeah, I think it's pretty important to have some kind of poly community you can interact with. Regular interaction with an online poly community is almost a must, in this "early" stage of poly's evolution. It's been a life saver for me, I'll put it that way.

Welcome and enjoy.
Kevin T.

SchrodingersCat 02-01-2013 12:06 AM

I've never been fond of the term "poly community" but I know what you mean by it. To me, we're just a bunch of individuals that happen to have this thing in common. We're no more a community than are all the people in the world who play chess.

The reason I make a stink about this is that when you use words like "community," people start to have expectations. They start to desire inclusion in this "community" and start to feel excluded from something if they aren't welcomed with open arms. I'm just one person over here doing my thing. I'm not going to welcome anyone to do my thing because I really don't care what other people do with their romantic lives. I don't want people to feel rejected by my indifference.

shaeffer 02-01-2013 12:43 AM


Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat (Post 182036)
just a bunch of individuals that happen to have this thing in common

I like that. :D

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