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-   -   Processing Anger (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3921)

MyNameIsMaam 10-08-2010 04:46 AM

Processing Anger
 
How do you do it? What do you do?

ImaginaryIllusion 10-08-2010 05:07 AM

I have a button which reads:
"There's few problems which cannot be resolved by the suitable application of photon torpedoes!"

MonoVCPHG 10-08-2010 05:48 AM

Most of my anger is created by an over active imagination where I create circumstances that justify me losing my mind. Most of the time I just have to keep looking deeper and deeper at the trigger and finally I get to the root of it.

redpepper 10-08-2010 07:23 AM

I have to make sure I don't get there by stopping it rise in me. It starts to well up in me and I know I need to find out why quick and then how to deal with it, if its rational, as soon as I can and before I hit boiling point.

I'm a red head, once I blow I fucking BLOW!

I'm pretty good at hiding myself away until I figure a different course of action, but if its about an injustice towards someone or something and I know my values and beliefs on it, then I'm on top of it right away before I get angry and if the injustice continues I absolutely destroy the person until they ask for mercy. I don't let down, but will back away if the other person shows the least sign of realizing they are wrong or is open to discussion.

When I'm done I can turn anger off just like that and forget what the anger was about within the hour. I don't hold a grudge on anything and forgive readily. :D

MyNameIsMaam 10-08-2010 02:28 PM

I find that I stew about it for a while - fantasize about revenge plots and "what if's." Then when the hot emotions dissipate, I can think about it rationally.

I'm sure there are more mature ways to process the emotions and thoughts. Fortunately, I don't get angry all that often. I guess it's a good thing I don't have ample opportunity to practice.

Ariakas 10-08-2010 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion (Post 47832)
I have a button which reads:
"There's few problems which cannot be resolved by the suitable application of photon torpedoes!"

hahahaha...I could use that button

As for myself...the most I end up doing is speaking harshly and I usually try to calm the situation down. I had a lot of anger management as a kid. I was that child that would beat the snot out of people for talking to me wrong or trying to bully me (not as in defend myself as in LOSE it)

It all came to a head when I realized my parents were flat broke and trying to protect me from the information (kind of hard not to realize when you are eating left over beans and wieners all the time). I lost it and attempted to beat my dad up, when I realized it was futile (keeping in mind I was 6'5 and 220 by this point, he was bigger than me ;)) I started to try to put my fist through a concrete wall.

Shortly after that, I was put into therapy and was shown lots of coping methods. Some worked, and some didn't. Some, in my case would have just pissed me off more. I have never hit that level of anger again and honestly don't come close. I am "usually" the voice of reason now, but that was a learned response.

Depending on how badly you feel the anger rise in you, you might want to speak with someone. If this is just simple "holy crap I am pissed" anger. I tend to use my writing tools to put it on paper. I get out most of my frustration that way and then I can logically dissect the why I feel anger.

Tonberry 10-08-2010 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion (Post 47832)
I have a button which reads:
"There's few problems which cannot be resolved by the suitable application of photon torpedoes!"

Reminds me of this shirt:

GroundedSpirit 10-08-2010 09:28 PM

I go for a long walk - preferably in the woods.
It gives you perspective.

GS


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