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-   -   Poly Family (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3879)

spidy 10-05-2010 01:50 AM

Poly Family
 
I'm interested in the idea of a poly family. I'm in a mono relationship and would like to stay mono but am okay with my boyfriend having another person. I'm thinking that a triad isn't able to work and am thinking maybe a quad is a better idea.

I'm attracted by the idea of an emotional connection with other people but not sexual and also having a larger family group living in one household. I have 1 child with him, and would like more. I'm also not liking the idea of my partner having children with another person (as if it didn't work out I think that would be a problem, I think my partner isn't interested either). So the other two are of a couple first, and bf is her secondary? Thinking as typing.

What is everyones first thoughts, I'd like to figure out what I want before being this up with my partner.

MonoVCPHG 10-05-2010 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spidy (Post 47257)
I'm in a mono relationship and would like to stay mono but am okay with my boyfriend having another person. I'm thinking that a triad isn't able to work and am thinking maybe a quad is a better idea.

.

Hi Spidy,

If you aren't taking on another romantic love and are monogamous then having a triad or quad isn't really going to work. Both relationship dynamics come with the idea of you having physical intimacy with some one other than your boyfriend.
It looks like you would be ok in a "V" with your husband as the hinge and possible an extended family through his partnership.

You don't "have" to be poly to be with a partner who is.

Take care

redpepper 10-05-2010 03:40 AM

I love that you are thinking about this, but I would be wary about having any preconceived notions about what would work best. Just staying open to possibility and keeping thought in mind seems to work the best for people.

Agreeing with Mono, if you don't want another love in your life other than your boyfriend, anything you create would be a vee. Doesn't really matter though, just go with your heart rather than the definitions maybe? That way you can let it go and just feel what is right. At least that is what worked for me anyways.


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