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-   -   Hello to the group (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38202)

StudentofLife 01-19-2013 01:03 AM

Hello to the group

I'm Student, and I just joined this group and wanted to say hello. I will try to keep this brief, and then hope to get to know you all better as we go along.
I'm a 48 year old woman, currently in a three year relationship with my girlfriend, T.J. Prior to this relationship, I was exclusively heterosexual. T.J. has identified as lesbian for over 20 years.
We have been discussing the possibility of wanting to add a third member, a male, to our relationship for over a year now. Neither of us have any experience with this new type of relationship. T.J. is not joining this group at this time, just me.
My current goal is to educate myself about poly relationships, to meet people and learn from their experiences, and to perhaps find someone willing to act as an online mentor for this learning process. We have decided to give this learning journey a full year (2013) without taking any steps to meet anyone, or change our current situation. We want to be very sure that we have done everything possible to make educated choices, to be prepared as a couple, and to insure that we act respectfully, responsibly, and ethically toward anyone we might meet in the future.
Anyone who is willing to help me along the way would be greatly appreciated. Our primary concern is to cause no harm to anyone, and to move ahead only when we feel we have done everything possible to behave like decent human beings!:)

kdt26417 01-19-2013 09:06 PM

Hi Student,
Welcome to our forum.

It seems wise to me that you are giving this a good amount of time for the learning process. Franklin Veux's poly site is a good place to get educated about the basics and more, and Polyamory.com has many good resources (the Golden Nuggets board for example).

I recommend that you have a look around on our site, read some threads, and see what interests you. You can do searches and tag searches which are sometimes helpful. Then, start posting as thoughts, questions, and concerns come to your mind.

You'll find that there are many people who are willing to offer you feedback and advice. It is a bustling site though, so ping your threads on occasion if you don't get a response right away.

Glad you could join us.
Kevin T.

StudentofLife 01-19-2013 09:48 PM

Thank you for the welcome
I appreciate your reponse and words of welcome. I have read and follow Franklin V's. various sites, love his intelligence and amazing writing skills, and it tickles me that he lives so close to where I used to own a house. It's fun to know exactly where he is talking about being.
I spent way too many hours last night reading in the golden nuggets threads, and you are right, what a huge resource of valuable and thought-provoking material.
After reading multiple comments about the difficulties of couples situations with only one person posting, I did want to clarify that TJ's reasons for not joining and posting are simply that her dyslexia makes prolonged reading on a computer screen, and writing/typing very tiring for her. I will try to to be very careful to make my posts in the singular, and to be clear at those times when I am quoting her or passing along her questions.
I'm sorry to have to ask but what does it mean to ping something and how would I do that?
Thank you again for your reply. :)

kdt26417 01-19-2013 10:02 PM


"I'm sorry to have to ask but what does it mean to ping something and how would I do that?"
Oh that just means you add another post (can be short) to whatever thread it is. That way the thread gets bumped back to the "top of the queue" and is more likely to get noticed by people.

I think it will work fine to pass along TJ's questions and whatnot. It's not like you're trying to speak like a two-person Borg collective or something. :)

Sounds like you're already getting acquainted with the ins and outs of polyamory. One book recommendation is "Opening Up" (by Tristan Taormino). Other book and website recommendations can be found at http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...0598#post10598

Hope you will be able to continue to find the kind of info you seek.
With regards,
Kevin T.

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