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-   -   Why is it? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3816)

TL4everu2 09-27-2010 10:16 AM

Why is it?
 
Why is it that couples are seemingly ALWAYS looking for a single female to enter into their relationship, but don;t want ANYTHING to do with a single male? I view it as insecurities within the male part of the couple. But then again, I AM the male part of a couple and have watched this time and time again. Am I off base?

I know someone will get on here and say something like: Well, WE have 2 males and one female and wouldn't have it any other way. Thats great for you. I'm glad it works for you. In fact, my wife and I currently have a single male involved with us, and no other female involved. So I know there are others like us, but I'm wanting to know why the overwhelming majority want JUST a single female? Just curious.

TruckerPete 09-27-2010 06:20 PM

It's been my experience that bisexual males are much rarer than bisexual females.

So, you'd have to have not one, but two bisexual males to make a triad. If HBB (hot bi babe) is a unicorn, I'm afraid to venture a guess as to what HBD (hot bi dude) is!

I really don't think it's an insecurity thing on the part of men. If you're not bi, you're not bi ...

TL4everu2 09-27-2010 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruckerPete (Post 46139)
It's been my experience that bisexual males are much rarer than bisexual females.

So, you'd have to have not one, but two bisexual males to make a triad. If HBB (hot bi babe) is a unicorn, I'm afraid to venture a guess as to what HBD (hot bi dude) is!

I really don't think it's an insecurity thing on the part of men. If you're not bi, you're not bi ...

But see? Thats just it. I'm not bi, and neither is my wife's bf. But we regularly do MFM all the time. There isn't really anything sexual going on between him and I except for us both having sex with my wife. ;) It works out well for us I guess. We would not deal with a bi male. Why? Because I'm not bi at all. Not a "homo-phobe", just not bi or even remotely homosexual. Something about the male anatomy just doesn't do it for me. :o

TruckerPete 09-27-2010 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TL4everu2 (Post 46143)
But see? Thats just it. I'm not bi, and neither is my wife's bf. But we regularly do MFM all the time. There isn't really anything sexual going on between him and I except for us both having sex with my wife. ;) It works out well for us I guess. We would not deal with a bi male. Why? Because I'm not bi at all. Not a "homo-phobe", just not bi or even remotely homosexual. Something about the male anatomy just doesn't do it for me. :o

Oh, well in that case, I don't think your arrangement is uncommon at all. I've got one of those myself ... Of course, Indigo is looking for another female, but for now, we're MFM.

The distinction is, I believe, that the couples looking for a female, are interested in that female being with both of them.

redpepper 09-28-2010 12:11 AM

I said once before, and Neon used it as her sig for a bit, that "anal sex is to porn, as unicorn hunting is to poly." It's a common thing to start out with because its novel and often suits the male in the couple. As time goes by, the realization that it isn't all its cracked up to be and can be one sided, sinks in. Unicorns are rare and often fall for one or the other of the couple eventually. It becomes a lot of work and not just fun times for everyone and then eventually it either just isn't interesting anymore, or a vee forms. Getting together for a threesome sometimes is fun, but not common any more. Like anal sex it becomes a fun thing to do every now and then, but isn't the primary focus.

ha! hope that helped..... :o

MonoVCPHG 09-28-2010 02:09 AM

I think this is a very male driven occurrence. Think about it. Apparently a lot of guys would like to have sex with two women. A lot of women are bi curious (so are guys but they hide it). Society and your best friend seem to accept women on women sex so that's a much easier sell.

Having a unicorn is a situation where much of the male ego is not threatened. There is no penis to contend with and therefore there is less competition and more bragging rights. If I pull up next to another cruiser motorcycle I feel competitive; who will get to the next light first, who's faster? But when I pull up next to a crotch rocket I feel no competition at all; it's faster almost without a doubt. The crotch rocket is essentially a different genitalia in it's own class with it's own type of energy. Therefore I don't mind telling my buddies how I sped away from me....they get it.

TL4everu2 09-28-2010 02:18 AM

Soooo....Kinda like pulling up to a light in my race car, and having a kid in a honduh with a fart can exhaust pull up next to me. If I blow him away, it's like "meah...so what?"....but if I loose, I'm the laughing stock. LOL

Wait...No...it's different. It HAS to be! LOL

I see it as an insecurity thing for the men. I also see it as TERRIBLY unfair to the women involved. I have yet to find a straight or even a bi woman yet, who wouldn't like to experience a MFM threesome just once. However, most of the time, the best they can get (because of their hubby's insecurities with himself....I have my own, but sex or body parts isn't one of them. ;) ) is a FMF. :rolleyes: That is really sad for them. :(

MonoVCPHG 09-28-2010 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TL4everu2 (Post 46217)
Soooo....Kinda like pulling up to a light in my race car, and having a kid in a honduh with a fart can exhaust pull up next to me. If I blow him away, it's like "meah...so what?"....but if I loose, I'm the laughing stock. LOL

Wait...No...it's different. It HAS to be! LOL

I see it as an insecurity thing for the men. I also see it as TERRIBLY unfair to the women involved. I have yet to find a straight or even a bi woman yet, who wouldn't like to experience a MFM threesome just once. However, most of the time, the best they can get (because of their hubby's insecurities with himself....I have my own, but sex or body parts isn't one of them. ;) ) is a FMF. :rolleyes: That is really sad for them. :(

I've had thresomes with Redpepper and PN. It was great to surround her in the men she loves. I think she truly appreciated the fact that in those times we were all melded and connected even though me and PN were not actually "connected" ;)

FormerUnicorn 09-28-2010 03:57 AM

I think RP and Mono have it pegged. (Wait! did I just say that aloud?) :D


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