Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Open in the Upper Midwest (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38098)

placeofexile 01-18-2013 07:07 AM

Open in the Upper Midwest
Hi everyone! Early 30's male here new to open relationships. My partner and I aren't in a polyamorous relationship per se, but I was simply hoping to find people here who are non-judgmental and can offer advice on how to successfully navigate an open relationship and find, yes, other sexual partners who understand and respect your life choice. Thanks!

Natja 01-18-2013 04:02 PM

What is it that you see that distinguishes your open relationship from a Poly one?

kdt26417 01-19-2013 08:53 PM

Hello placeofexile,
Welcome to our forum.

We have a Dating & Friendships subforum; you may find that helpful (if you haven't been there already).

You'll definitely find people here who are sympathetic and understanding towards you. Just explore our various threads a little, see what calls to you, and post any thoughts and questions you may have.

I get the impression you and your partner are kind of in the "thinking about it" stage. Is that accurate?

In any case, I'm glad to welcome you aboard.

Kevin T.

placeofexile 01-22-2013 06:15 AM

Good question. I classify our relationship as an open (we both are able to have other sexual partners) rather than polyamorous relationship, which I understand to be more than two individuals involved in a romantic relationship. In any case, I'm sure definitions are contested and I could be wrong. Your insight, as well as others, is certainly welcome.

placeofexile 01-22-2013 06:16 AM

More in the thought about it, but now trying to find the time and people to do something about it stage!

kdt26417 01-22-2013 07:37 PM


By the way, you kind find a thread about words and definitions at: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...5365#post15365

Basically, if it's "just sex" outside your primary relationship, it's swing or FWB. If there are emotions and possibly commitment involved (i.e. "in love") with other lovers, then it's polyamory.

Are you guys open to a polyamorous dynamic possibly developing, or are you keeping it at the "just open" stage for now? (Just curious.)

Kevin T.

placeofexile 01-23-2013 05:56 AM

We're open to seeing how things progress. For now, it's more about acknowledging that our emotional needs are met by the relationship, but that we may have physical needs only outsiders can satiate. That's not to say that we won't develop any emotional bonds with them, but the primary relationship takes precedence.

kdt26417 01-23-2013 11:10 PM

That sounds fine; many poly/open relationships are based on that model.

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