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-   -   Hello everybody! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3740)

DeeTee 09-18-2010 07:39 PM

Hello everybody!
 
.

NeonKaos 09-18-2010 07:55 PM

Quote:

Hello, I'm looking for people in a similar situation to us, or who have experience of a similar situation, just to get some perspective really. Myself and my wife have been married six years, and very close the whole time. Nearly two months ago we were talking in bed, and we got onto the subject of a threesome some guys almost persuaded her to have at a party years before we met. After we stopped laughing (Nobody tells a story like she does) she said she wished she had gone through with it. Ah well, she said, too late now.
Weell... I said.
And that was it.
Various ups and downs and lots of talk later and our first threesome is on it's way, only by now it has transformed somewhat. She started talking to a guy she knew online, made the suggestion, and as it happened the idea seemed perfect for his current circumstances, if it was to be a semi regular thing. The thing is, we wanted to get ourselves in shape for it, so we have delayed him coming up, as he is 400 miles away, and in the meantime we've had time to think and discuss the whole thing between us (All three of us) and we've got to know each other a bit, and he has now acquired the official title of boyfriend, which we're both happy about, as we were neither of us ever really one night stand people. Hadnt heard of polyamory before all this happened, but its nice to see there are other people out there making it up as they go along, though I havent found much about MFM triads as yet. Not that that's necessarily where we are going, but it's nice to get a feel for the waters ahead, even if they're dimly glimpsed as yet. Anyone with any stories or practical stuff would be very much appreciated.
Cheers everybody!
OK, I'm happy for you. But, you do realize that a "threesome" and a "triad" are two different things. The first is "just sex", the second is "a relationship".

Are you bisexual or interested in become involved that way with another man? You don't say so one way or another in your post.

sage 09-18-2010 08:15 PM

Hi and welcome

http://www.polyamorouspeople.com/201...r-a-triad.html

http://www.polyamorouspeople.com/201...ere-three.html

We did pretty much the same thing, although we know my partner is polyamorous. The whole deal started and finished in three weeks. You should read the second link first that deals with making it happen. Trying for a Triad is the break up and the pitfalls.

You're lucky that your guy lives a long way away because there is hopefully less likelihood of the parties falling in love. Just be careful, we hurt a very nice lady quite badly.

DeeTee 09-18-2010 08:48 PM

Oh dear, not at all the response I was looking for. Too pernickety.
I hereby withdraw my post.
Best wishes all!

vodkafan 09-18-2010 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeeTee (Post 44761)
Oh dear, not at all the response I was looking for. Too pernickety.
I hereby withdraw my post.
Best wishes all!


:eek: ?? :confused:

NeonKaos 09-18-2010 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vodkafan (Post 44765)
:eek: ?? :confused:

It was fun while it lasted, I think?

redpepper 09-18-2010 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeeTee (Post 44761)
Oh dear, not at all the response I was looking for. Too pernickety.
I hereby withdraw my post.
Best wishes all!

Oh that's too bad. Its a little alarming to me when people leave without saying why. It sounds like you were looking for a particular answer. What was that I wonder? And why put yourself out there if you already have the answer? Perhaps a sight on polyamory was not what was looked for here, but what were you looking for? I know several on-line and places otherwise where the term poly is used more for the swinging side or open side of things rather than the emotional bonds that can form from several relationships. Perhaps that was the misunderstanding here?

Just to comment on the original post, which I assume is what neon quoted... Maybe you are looking for a "vee." That's what I'm in and it has included a sexual relationship between us three. We started our journey with a man that was meant to be a threesome only and it became very apparent the second encounter in that two of us were falling for each other and the third was left out. It was fun once. It was kind of fun the second time. By the third time, emotional dynamics kicked in and it became apparent that we were on our way to something deeper and a cross roads occurred. It ended because poly was not what he signed up for. He wasn't looking for love and found it by mistake. Very hard and very sad to say goodbye. Now I have two men in my life as primary partners and we are all in it for similar reasons. So good to check that out ahead of time.

Something to be aware of and think about perhaps. I know in the throws of something; anticipation, excitment, and lust, its hard to do that, but if its possible to talk about these things before they come up, then perhaps you will be spared some hardship. Talking about what the intent is, what boundaries there are, talking to him about it all too can really help. Staying honest and respectful is helpful in this.

Good luck, if in fact you are even getting your email notifications anymore. If not then perhaps this will benefit someone else reading. Which reminds me, reading on here really puts things into perspective. Of course being in NRE over it all isn't all that condusive to being interested in learning. At least in my experience ;)


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