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-   -   Need a little help! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37277)

HimAndHerInBP 01-14-2013 03:23 AM

Need a little help!
Sooo...a bit sad to be asking advice of this nature at 34 years of age, but what the hell...not exactly an old pro at this. Besides, hubby and I have been together over 15 years now so a bit out of practice!

Anyhow, here's the deal. I'm bi and we've grown interested in a Triad over the years. Used to be just sex, but we want more. The two relationships we've had were both started with all parties knowing that was the intent. But now...I have a crush. A big crush. She's so cute! Lol

We actually ran in to her at a friend's Bday party. Oddly enough, this mutual friend tried to hook up with us about five years ago. Lol Anyhow, the crush and I hit it off and hubby has interest as well. We've been hanging out a fair amount the last month or so and get along really well. So, at least, great friend potential. The thing is, there seems to be some serious sexual tension amongst the three of us!

Anyhow, recall how I mentioned our mutual friend wanting to hook up with us years ago? Well, the night of the Bday she jokingly mentioned it in front of the crush so there's a chance she's aware.

So just curious how people have approached a situation like this to let her know? Generally, we're very forward so it's odd. There is a chance for a good friendship here and I would like to mitigate the risk of losing that. So...any input is appreciated!

Phy 01-14-2013 08:12 AM

Why not go for friendship first? If you are looking for a relationship and would love something longterm to develop, get to know her. You don't have to jump into it and have all the time in the world. Get to know her, establish a good friendship and maybe things will be sorted out by themselves. It would take some pressure off of the situation, because getting to know someone new while already planning your shared future can be quite stressful. Don't put yourself or her under too much pressure.

HimAndHerInBP 01-14-2013 07:33 PM

Gotta love how the mind goes all gaga and stops working from time to time. Lol. We're not looking to go full tilt right away as that's just not how we operate. But would like to Perdue romantic interest. We'll see. But good point on the friendship first. Thanks. :)

BreatheDeeply 01-14-2013 09:03 PM

What kind of signals are you or the hubby getting from the crush? Anything that can be seen as interest? If so, follow up on them, ask her out with you and the hubby.

HimAndHerInBP 01-14-2013 09:09 PM

Well, nothing "concrete", though Adam has mentioned she appears to be checking me out from time to time. And you ever have those awkward pauses in a conversation with someone you're interested and the two of you just kind of stare at each other and just smile? Lol.

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