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-   -   we are a small polyfamily (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37259)

fleurisseur 01-13-2013 06:27 PM

we are a small polyfamily
we are a small polyfamily
2 men, 5 women, 7 kids

rule 1) never lie
rule 2) be always available to give love and sex
rule 3) bring your brain to increase our strengths

SchrodingersCat 01-13-2013 08:24 PM

Rule #2 is controlling. Sometimes people are not in the mood. This sounds like that is not an option.

fleurisseur 01-13-2013 08:40 PM

ule #Rule 2 is controlling. Sometimes people are not in the mood.
why do you put NEGATIVE SENSE in a simple phrase ???

you ADD something that is NOT inside the phrase

SchrodingersCat 01-13-2013 08:59 PM

What have I added? You said that your potential partners must follow the "rule" of always being available for sex. I'm saying that that's unrealistic, that sometimes people are not in the mood and therefore not available. By calling that controlling, I am adding nothing but a judgement of the rule you present.

Furthermore, requiring them to be always available for sex is not only controlling but treats them like property. Romantic partners are not cattle to be bred on demand.

fleurisseur 01-13-2013 09:05 PM

your opinion is 100% wrong

but it is your opinion

I am not here to "discuss opinions"
and you are not a tribunal.

good luck

SchrodingersCat 01-13-2013 09:26 PM

An opinion can be neither right nor wrong. That's why it's an opinion.

You may want to look elsewhere to find people to control. I think you'll find my opinion is shared by a majority of the members of this forum.

hmm... now that I think about it, it seems that #2 incompatible with #3. You want people to bring their brains, and yet not notice that you are trying to control them. And as soon as someone uses their brain and points that out, you tell them they're wrong. That is not a sign of strength, buddy.

fleurisseur 01-13-2013 09:49 PM

your opinion is "an opinion"
Your opinion is "an opinion"

even if 20 000 000 people have the same "opinion".


I am not here to discuss "your opinion"

Good luck

nouryia 01-13-2013 10:02 PM

I happen to agree with ShrodingersCat that your rule 2 is controlling. MUST ALWAYS BE available for sex doesn't sound like a relationship to me, more like sexual slavery. There are plenty of times I haven't felt like sex and my partners have NEVER pressured me. I would like to know how you, Fleurisseur, think that this rule is respectful of everyone in your little poly family...care to educate me? Or will you simply refuse to discuss our 'opinion' of this rule of yours because you can't make a valid argument to defend it?

JaneQSmythe 01-13-2013 10:08 PM


Originally Posted by fleurisseur (Post 177639)

...I am not here to discuss "your opinion"...

Well, that is unfortunate.

I happen to agree with SC's opinion - and so may many people that may be the very people that you are "searching" for - so you may want to examine YOUR opinion a little closer. The best way that I know to do that is to discuss those opinions. Since this is a public forum, it seems like this would be an ideal place to do so...unfortunately, you do not agree - so it seems as though we are at an impasse.

I wish you all the best - but I do think that "rule #2" is going to exclude the vast majority of people who could conceivably be interested.

I was also intrigued/put off by the requirement for ONE man and TWO women - like you are looking for cookie-cutter puzzle pieces to conform to some over-arching "plan" - should the "ONE man and TWO women" be a pre-existing unit or are you interviewing individuals for these positions? You also do not mention the sexual orientations of the existing family or the expectation for sexual orientations/sexual involvement of the the "ONE man and TWO women" that you are seeking - would a gay guy and two post-op MTF trannies be acceptable? Are they expected to have sex with ALL SEVEN existing family members - as well as each other? I've never been sexually attracted to 7 people at the same time in my LIFE, let alone NINE - and I am an admitted SLUT! (In my experience it is hard enough to get THREE people on the same page relationship-wise, but TEN...?)

Good luck with that...


kdt26417 01-13-2013 11:43 PM

Hello fleurisseur,

I don't want to say too much about your rules, as whatever they are they seem to be working for your family so far. I had to chuckle when you said you were a small polyfamily, because two guys, five ladies, and seven kids adds up to 14 people! :) There must be moments that are ... challenging, with so many individuals and one household. Hmmm, maybe there is more than one household, I shouldn't assume.

To let people know what you're looking for, I'd suggest the Dating & Friendships subforum.

You definitely have the right rule in Rule #1.

Wishing you the best,
Kevin T.

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