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-   -   My story - How it all began (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37218)

MomToMLAandD 01-13-2013 12:36 PM

My story - How it all began
I met my amazing husband a few days after I turned 18, I was dating a girl (i'm bi) she was my best friend, and i had recently left a terrible relationship, at first we were casually dating and "messing around" but I quickly fell hard, He introduced me to a few of his friends whom I started keeping in touch with over various chat programs, a few months into dating I confided in his friend that I had fallen in love with him and he forced us to take a few days apart and decide where we wanted to be. My girlfriend was more then willing to share me as long as I was happy. He was also ok with me continuing my relationship with my girlfriend (lets face it, many men would be wouldn't they? ;) )

We decided we wanted to be a couple and we quickly settled into that routine, when we had been together just 15 months we were welcomed by our first daughter, my girlfriend had her own relationship with a friend of mine and they had a son together

My girlfriend moved away when he got an amazing job opportunity and our relationship ended, we still to this day remain best friends

we moved in together shortly after daughter #1 and she was followed by another 4 years later.

when I was pregnant with our 2nd daughter I started keeping in touch with a woman who was pregnant as well, we became fast friends and often spent time together. She found out I was bi and confided in me that she had feelings for me. We continued to be friends and didn't pursue anything then

we started partying together her and I, going out to clubs (hubby worked in a club, and was older so he didn't enjoy clubbing as much anymore) and she introduced me to a friend of hers, who seemed to take a liking to me did some kinda shady game to get my # (He called himself from my phone after asking to "See it" (it was the first ever iphone 3)) and he started texting me, alot, Hubby started going nuts, accusing me of cheating on him, and all sorts of nutty things, I maintained my innocence and a week or 2 later a received a message on facebook from someone not on my contact list asking if I was in a relationship with the male (hubby) in my display photo, I simply replied with "Yes" and they said "Well, you should ask him about him and my friend at the sonic halloween party at X" (sonic was a radio station) I said "Oh and why is that?" and they said "He made out with my friend near the cooler she got his # and is supposed to text him"

I printed the conversation and went .... well .... Ballistic on Hubby, he swore he didn't do it and even told me to ask J (J was his boss, and personal friend of ours) I then stated that I wouldn't care as long as he was open and honest with me about it.

And so it began

He asked what I meant, I said "I wouldn't care if you slept with half the city as long as you did it protected and you didn't lie about it" ...That is clearly a little extreme lol

he asked where we went from there, I asked if he was interested in trying an
"Open relationship" He asked what it entailed, I said we could both do what we wanted within a set of rules, 1) Open and honest 2) supply your own protection 3) Come home the same night 4) shower before getting into bed 5) No ex's or co-workers, ect we both agreed to the terms and conditions and it was done

Oh and I asked J he said hubby wouldn't have had time to sneeze that night let alone do anything like that... I fully believe him

In December of that year D met C, through me, in Feb 2007 D folded a 5$ bill into an origami tshirt for a server at a restaurant, and she happened to still have it, I asked about it and she told me about the guy who gave it to her, and she described him perfectly, I gave her his # and they began communicating frequently, he asked her to be his girlfriend a few months later (with my permission of course) they are currently doing a long distance thing consisting of phone calls, photos and text messages

remember that friend I mentioned about that confided she had feelings, we dated for awhile after my open relationship started it didn't work out, but we remain great friends

We welcomed another baby girl in Feb 2010 and got officially married in July 2010

this past March D met another girl, and started spending some time with her, we had a 4th daughter in May and she found out about me when he wasn't at work the weekend after (I knew about her) she asked if he was just "looking to get laid" or if he would be "interested in seeing where it could go" he said he would be happy to see where it went and they started seeing each other, her and I met and became friends, she stated that she would like to see both of us but changed her mind about me, she just wanted then to be my "sister wife" and move in with us ect, I wasn't sure how i felt about that and told D to take it from there, he was also pretty put off with her games (more then just the mind changing, she told him she was on birth control and he didn't need to worry about rubber, when she was never infact on any birth control, she would play us against her friends telling her friends we hated them and telling us the same thing until our paths crossed and we realized that none of it was true, she is very highschool) and the have since broken up but the drama remains constant

she has decided to tell people that D was leaving me for her and I am blackmailing him with not seeing our daughters, which is in no way fact, him and I have never been happier, she just couldn't handle the sharing and is in love with him. we have cut off contact with her as best we can

many of our family members (my parents and siblings, D's sister, (his parents have passed on) ) and close friends, people from our work know of our relationship status, but many extended family and people we don't see regularly don't know, we don't display affection towards others infront of our children (That may change later when C moves back as the plan is for her to move in with us)

I haven't myself had any relationships with other men, because well quite simply I am too tired half the time to keep up with my husband and I haven't found anyone who is worthy of that title, I do have "flirtationships" with a few people but haven't done anything more then talk some talk and exchange a few photos

Well thats it, that brings us current I know that was super long and I thank you if you made it all the way through

cosmicsunshine 01-14-2013 04:40 AM

Great story!!! Can't wait to hear more!!!

MomToMLAandD 09-23-2013 12:06 AM

Been so long since I've been on! Life went crazy!

Let's start with the fam stuff, my sister went a little nutty and now I have guardianship of her 3 kids making our grand total to 7, 5 girls (10,7,6,3,1) and 2 boys (almost 16 and almost 14). Needless to say, full, very hectic house.

We have rare contact with his ex girlfriend I mentioned in my previous post and I intend to keep it minimal to none, I would cut her off but she is about to become a first time single mom, and I don't mind being available for advice.

I have some stuff to do, but I'll be back for another update soon!

MomToMLAandD 02-20-2014 10:29 PM

Been so long again!!!

Where to start, I guess where I left off hey...

Husbands ex asked us to adopt her baby boy, I actually seriously considered it, but we were so not in a place to do it with the 7 kids, throwing a newborn in to the mix i would be commit-able!!!

In early Novemberr, I started chatting with a guy from work, strictly on the premise that i would teach him how to use BBM on his iphone, I'm nice like that haha :cool: , He added me and we started to chat, On about the 7th he asked me to explain to him the details on the party we were hosting on the 10th, it was our staff party, and a few of our staff would be working it and we would be open to the public, he asked if the working staff was allowed to partake in the festivities, I explained that legally, no, but they probably would look the other way if the person didn't get hammered on shift, I asked him if he was working he said he didn't think so and asked if i wanted to come for drinks with him, I said sure, but warned him that if i get really drunk i get...rowdy...he said "Well if you do then i will just put on my security shirt and restrain you" :eek: I was like "I only like to be restrained sometimes" ... i guess that kinda started our few day long "flirtationship"

On the 10th that turned in to a more physical thing, A week later everyone knew (We tried to keep things on the DL, with only me him and my husband knowing, but we went out one night in the industry (another club) and got caught by about 35374370247 people we knew....who told everyone else haha), he left for a military exercise on the 16th (He is an airborne combat engineer, when i asked him to describe his job to me the first time he told me he jumps out of perfectly good airplanes and blows shit up.... seems legit :cool:) While he was gone we decided it would be best for us to tell his close friend B(another club employee) then for him to find out elsewhere, so since J was away I told B, everything seemed good with that...boy was i wrong (i'll explain more on that further down) That weekend i also left my job, I had some personal stresses that combined with the work stresses and I quit.

When he came back we decided to make it official and I became his girlfriend. He left for vacation December 15th and came back the 29th and i stayed the night the day before he left and the day he came back

Right now we see each other for 1on1 time 1 or 2 times a week and i try to pop by the club to see both of them atleast 1 time on the weekend (they have awesome concerts going on so it's easy to justify ;) ) but i don't consider it time together with either of them because they are both so busy i only see them for 5 minutes each or so. And J and I try to have atleast a quick phone call every night Sun-Thurs if i'm not at his house

Sunday and 2 week days are D's , and Friday/Saturday I sleep alone due to them both being at work, but it's pretty much sheer bliss regardless

I don't love J's line of work though, it already seems as though he has to be away ALOT, he left in November for 4 days (was supposed to be longer, but it was like frost bite cold outside so they got pulled out) , December was a trip to see family so it can't really be counted, Last month he was gone 4 days, and in March he will be gone a week, 3 weeks in April and all of May :( I do have D to be with so I think i will be okay, I will just miss him is all

Family stuff update:
I'm back down to only my 4 little ones, 3 of them just celebrated birthdays in the last 3 weeks (L turned 7, A turned 4 and M turned 11) Baby D is not till May so i get a quick break haha

Now let me tell you about B, When I first told B about J and I he seemed okay with it, When I went over there one day J's roommate says "Hey B, have you met J's new girlfriend Kay?" B was like "Girlfriend?!" I was like "No one said girlfriend, just relax" this was before we were "official" Well on the 3th of January B decided to approach D, and ask him "what he really thought of the J thing" Totally none of his business, caused a HUGE issue between B and J and B and I, and D and I since he was upset he had been approached by someone, and J's friend no less, well a week after this all went down, I *THINK* B wanted to discuss it with me, but I wasn't staying at the club that night, and the day later B decided he wanted no part of even talking to me, so he has flat out ignored me since Jan 11th, and I have said nothing (Totally not my style haha, But J asked me to let him handle it, and for the time being I am respecting that.) But i'm not sure how long i can continue to not say something since he is escalating it, but mentioning things to others (2 security guards have approached me on the subject and 2 of my friends! He told one of my friends the "issue" he had with her was that she is friends with me!) ....he is acting like such a child in my opinion, and it's getting to me

Otherwise pretty much everything is amazing :)

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