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-   -   A momentary freak-out (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3661)

Ragabash 09-06-2010 04:18 PM

A momentary freak-out
I'm feeling completely stupid and paranoid for worrying, but I am.

Tonberry left Saturday evening to go see her boyfriend for the first time. She checked in to say she arrived at her first transfer on the way, and since then, over a day later, I haven't had any contact.

I'm having to wonder if part of this isn't the fact that maybe it was at the moment she stepped on the bus was the moment it really sunk in that all of this is real. It's not flirting online, it's not "if you could be with someone, who would it be" fantasizing. It could also be that I had a stressful day at work yesterday, who knows?

I think I just need the proverbial slap upside the head, someone other than myself to tell me that she's just having a great time with Sean and that's why she hasn't called, and that Wednesday morning when I see her she'll be safe and happy. That I shouldn't start worrying because when I worry I nearly always get carried away and end up getting stressed out over nothing. I can tell myself those things all I want, but it doesn't make much of a difference coming from me.

ImaginaryIllusion 09-06-2010 04:41 PM

Take a chill pill and grab a coffee or something.

Sometimes people get distracted in the moment and forget to call in, or break from routine.

Ragabash 09-06-2010 05:19 PM

Okay, it's been confirmed, I was just being ridiculous. She forgot to write down my work number to call and say that she'd arrived safe and sound and didn't leave a message at home.

So all my worries have been replaced feeling a bit stupid and jealousy that they got to eat Sri Lankan food and I didn't. :p

Tonberry 09-11-2010 11:10 PM

I'm sorry you got so worried. You had told me over and over again that I didn't need to call you and should enjoy my time with him, so I didn't realise you would be worried.

See, what happened is that my bus arrived right when Rag would have left for work for 18 hours, and I didn't think he would be worried, so calling to leave a message seemed pointless to me, if I called it was to talk to him directly.
Which I did as soon as I was awake and knew he was home from work. I had no idea he was so worried, and in the future I will make sure to leave a message saying I arrived safely.

(Yes, it's a week old, but I just found that thread, so...)

vodkafan 09-11-2010 11:42 PM

Haha, Ragabash, that's nothing. The first weekend I willingly had to let my wife go to be with her other "husband" (which is what she thinks of him as)
I was pacing up and down at work like a caged tiger. I could not sleep, sit, eat or read. The second day was the worst. I started talking to myself.
Back then we had a "no contact" rule.

It gets better dude.

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