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-   -   How do I say this... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3642)

openmarriage42 09-02-2010 07:04 PM

How do I say this...
 
My husband was the first to bring the idea tot he table... So okay he wants to be with someone other than I , hurtful, but over many months of talking i have come to terms. I would love for him to experience life outside of our house but how do you go about doing this as most people know we are married and the ladies dont want any part of it... for me I am bi-curious and dont mind the idea of swapping but again same issue people want single people. so my question is how do we go about finding a couple or indivduals that are intrested in the same things as he and I.

Ariakas 09-02-2010 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by openmarriage42 (Post 42753)
My husband was the first to bring the idea tot he table... So okay he wants to be with someone other than I , hurtful, but over many months of talking i have come to terms. I would love for him to experience life outside of our house but how do you go about doing this as most people know we are married and the ladies dont want any part of it... for me I am bi-curious and dont mind the idea of swapping but again same issue people want single people. so my question is how do we go about finding a couple or indivduals that are intrested in the same things as he and I.

There is a thread

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2835

it has a lot of great tips for finding people :)

openmarriage42 09-02-2010 07:22 PM

Thats great but I guess what I am looking for are clubs or something that we can go in and meet people in preson and face to face. We have tried the web sites and they all seem to be palyers of a sort say they'll meet then stand you up...

Ariakas 09-02-2010 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by openmarriage42 (Post 42759)
Thats great but I guess what I am looking for are clubs or something that we can go in and meet people in preson and face to face. We have tried the web sites and they all seem to be palyers of a sort say they'll meet then stand you up...

This is in that thread too, somewhere but your best bet is to try

1 - find a local poly group
2 - find a lifestyle club. This comes in many forms. There can be mixed clubs (poly, swinging, bdsm) etc. So you have to search
3 - this one is rarely mentioned. Hit up a local sex shop and see if there are any hidden groups in your area.
4 - fetlife.com - while a BDSM site has a strong poly group in some areas. you might find a "poly munch" available to go to.

Number 5 - ... go out to a bar, or socialize together and talk to people. Let people know your interest and go from there

openmarriage42 09-02-2010 07:31 PM

Great and thanks.... I hope this works as we both want it....

TruckerPete 09-02-2010 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ariakas (Post 42760)
This is in that thread too, somewhere but your best bet is to try

1 - find a local poly group
2 - find a lifestyle club. This comes in many forms. There can be mixed clubs (poly, swinging, bdsm) etc. So you have to search
3 - this one is rarely mentioned. Hit up a local sex shop and see if there are any hidden groups in your area.
4 - fetlife.com - while a BDSM site has a strong poly group in some areas. you might find a "poly munch" available to go to.

Number 5 - ... go out to a bar, or socialize together and talk to people. Let people know your interest and go from there

*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!

openmarriage42 09-02-2010 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruckerPete (Post 42763)
*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!

I never did and My husband and I go to one locally about once a month... Who would have thought about that..

Ariakas 09-02-2010 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruckerPete (Post 42763)
*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!

My pleasure. like I said, I don't think many people think of it.

If they don't know poly, they might know closed swingers groups or open support groups. :)...

I found one in town, but..umm...the age range was a little older then my desires. :)

AutumnalTone 09-02-2010 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruckerPete (Post 42763)
*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!

It wouldn't cross my mind, either. I certainly wouldn't go looking for a poly group at a sex shop. I used to manage an adult shop. We had folks from the fetish community in, we had folks from the swinging community in--we had no folks from any poly group come in of which I'm aware (and any requests to post info, yada yada yada had to have my approval).

I have to say I wouldn't visit any poly group that had posted info in a sex shop. That suggests to me the folks in it are more interested in meat market dating and looking for hookups and I'm not interested in that.

Ariakas 09-02-2010 08:31 PM

I guess I just see a lot of cross over in the area. Most poly people I have met now are already non-monogamous or ex-swingers or still swingers.


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