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Axia 09-02-2010 05:39 AM

northwestern newbie :)
Hi!! Iíve just joined the forum here (obviously), and wanted to say hi and all that. So, yeahÖ hi and all that. Iím new to the poly world, formally. I have always been intrigued by the idea, but for one reason or another havenít informed myself any further than the basics. I hate typing up introductions and such, because they always seem so clinical and dating ad-ish. I will endeavor to achieve a non-personals sounding introduction.

Iím married to a wonderful man. Weíve been married for 5 years (next month) and together for almost 7. We have two beautiful girls together and are very happy in our family life. He is bi, I am (mostly) straight. We have had an open relationship almost from the get-go. We were talking about our past sexual history, and I could tell that he was most likely bi, so I urged him into an open relationship so that he could explore that further. It turns out, hey, I was right. Heís been in a couple long term situations with guys, and several once or twice encounters with both men and women since then. I have had a few encounters in that time, but nothing serious. Most of those were for his benefit, because he really likes the thought of me with other guys. None of those were serious, I think, because for me itís hard to separate sex and love. Plus, we donít exactly have the same taste in guys. And I havenít done anything outside our relationship in 2 years or so. Iíve been busy having babies and recovering from that, settling down into mommy hood.

Our situation now is hubby works out of state, and I stay home with the girls. He is gone for 4 weeks, comes home for 2 weeks, then off to work again. In the recent past, that hasnít really bothered me, because like I said, babies and such. Lately though, Iíve started to come out of baby haze and realize that I really need some adult companionship. And yes, Iím 30 (or near enough anyways) and I feel that peak that everyone talks about sneaking up on me. So, I need a sexual relationship as well. After some talk with hubby about our differing tastes in men, my probable tendency to turn sex and companionship into a loving relationship, among other things, we have decided that I should look for a boyfriend of sorts. It feels funny and high school-ish to call that resulting relationship a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but I donít really know how else to classify it.

So Iím here to read and learn and make friends of like minds. Find a few people who I could talk to about my frustrations in the dating world that arenít going to be judgmental. My mom and sister know about our open marriage. My mom is opinionated, lecturing and unsupportive (very unlike herÖ scratch that, sheís always been opinionated and lecturingÖ generally sheís more supportive though) and my sister is just weirded out by the whole thing. Right now, sheís the only one I have to talk to about anything, and I donít really like straining my relationship with her by constantly bringing up something sheís not comfortable with yet.

So again, hi, and if I was less than clear on any points, let me know and I will clarify.

AutumnalTone 09-02-2010 06:30 PM

Welcome aboard.

MindfulAgony 09-02-2010 07:56 PM

Welcome. Looks like you're been very thoughtful about wading into these deep waters. Lots of good wisdom to help out around here and elsewhere.

Axia 09-03-2010 03:39 AM

Thanks for the warm welcome. I am recommending that hubby also take a look around and such. it's somewhat of a large step in terms of emotions and acceptance from flings to relationships with others, and i know he's gonna have questions.

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