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-   -   Quad help (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36221)

saraphim 01-03-2013 07:19 AM

Quad help
Hello, I am new to posting here although I have been reading posts for a while now. I need some help/advice/re-assurance with my quad situation. My husband and I have been dating a lovely couple for nearly a year now. We have all been close friends for many years and have a tight knit group of friends who support us in our relationship. Things have been great. We do not live together but see each other for either seperate dates (my with the other husband, my husband with the other wife) or for lovely quad dinners and movie nights often. All of that has been good. The other couple even get along great with my 5 year old daughter and watch her from time to time. Here is the rub.

The other wife is pregnant. 8 months pregant really. She is due in just a couple of weeks. I feel like this will all work out very well in the end. It will be tough to begin with and require lots of sensitivity and probably limited time for us to spend with the couple since they will need time to bond. I am wondering, has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any tips for success, pitfalls to avoid, advice or just re-asurrance that yes indeed this can work out and become more serious on the other side? I think really I am just nervous at this point and not entirely sure how to proceed.

I really want this to work out. The idea of being involved, raising kids together, having a loving, large and stable family group is something I want and I think right now the ground is just unstable so it is hard to know how it will end up. Thanks so much! You guys are such a great community.

Emm 01-03-2013 07:36 AM

I'm not sure what you'd like advice about. As far as I can see you haven't mentioned any problems in your post. Perhaps you could elaborate?

JaneQSmythe 01-03-2013 01:41 PM

Having a new baby in the house will certainly change things - this is true even without the whole quad/poly angle. Especially if they are first-time parents, for several months it is likely that they will feel they have time for very little else. Aside from offering to watch the baby from time to time so they can take a break, I don't have any solid advise to offer.

You may want to read AnnabelMore's blog on this forum. Although not a quad, she talks a lot about the effects of her (married) girlfriend's pregnancy and new-momhood on their relationship.


saraphim 01-03-2013 04:15 PM

Thanks! I think the whole uncertainty of how things will work out and what our roll in all of this should be for the near future has me nervous. I will absolutely check out her blog post thanks!!

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