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-   -   Terminology Questions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36199)

Renee 01-03-2013 01:10 AM

Terminology Questions
I'm new to this forum and to these discussions in general and have some terminology questions:

1.) I'm the "hinge" in a MFM relationship- the boys are not sexual with each other alone, but we have, all three of us, experimented sexually before and probably will again in the future. I was the "center of attention", so to speak. Does this make it a triad or a V?

2.) I feel I can be attracted to anyone. I've been attracted to men, women, and people who don't identify with a gender. That being said, I feel I have the easiest time being sexual with typically "masculine" behavior. Does this make me pansexual, because I am capable of being attracted to anyone, or dos this make me bisexual because I still tend to separate between gender lines?

I had more questions but I can't think of them now!

LovingRadiance 01-03-2013 01:25 AM

1) a V.

The following link has a lot of definitions we've collected in one place for everyone's convenience. :)


Renee 01-03-2013 01:27 AM

Thank you! I did read that but still had some questions- I guess the first definition of a triad is what threw me with the "any three person lovestyle"

JaneQSmythe 01-03-2013 03:07 AM

Having read your other posts, I would say "Vee" - which is how I describe our MFM situation. My boys are best friends (and were before I got "involved") but not sexually involved with each other. When we are sexual all-together (which is a rare, but exciting, occurrence) their sexual attention is focused on me (as they are both straight).

I have seen others here describe an "emotional triad, sexual vee" - we are close to that, but I don't try to define the guy's relationship - that is their domain. If the term "sister-wives" didn't carry such a hefty weight then I would describe them as "brother-husbands"...


LovingRadiance 01-03-2013 05:26 AM

Some people use triad more loosely. Usually people who don't distinguish sexually partners from non-sexual partners.
But generallyc if the two ends aren't sexually involved it would be described as a V. (which I am also in)

As to pansexual-you might ask Redpepper, as I think she identifies as pan. But personally, I have always found it too confusing and its irrelevant in my personal life as I don't identify that way and neither do my guys. ;)

opalescent 01-03-2013 08:19 PM

I refer to myself as bisexual and pansexual. For me, bisexual works well as I am attracted and want to be in relationships with women and men. (I don't need 'one of each' btw - just that I am attracted to both.) I also use pansexual to indicate that I recognize that gender is a continuum and that I am open to being attracted to people who have changed genders, who don't accept a gender identity at all or who are gender fluid.

So personally, I would include you as pansexual or bisexual or both, even if you are mostly attracted to masculine energies or behaviors. However, the definition of pansexual is very much in play and what I've noted works for me but may not be accepted or found useful by others.

Renee 01-04-2013 04:09 PM

Thanks for your responses everyone. Labels can be confusing and seemingly unnecessary but I've found for places like these (forums, online, what-have-you) they can be useful to very quickly describe one's mindset. Also I feel that trying to categorize one's behaviors can help you unveil more about yourself and your needs & wants.

Opalescent - Your description of fluidity of genders mirrors my sentiments. Thanks for your input, it has helped.

Lovingradiance - Thanks for the extra clarification. It can be confusing trying to learn the correct uses of so many new terms. The extra info was very useful. :)

Jane - I do like the term brother husbands! Haha

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