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-   -   I think my husband is going to flip.... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35896)

FunkylilMama 12-28-2012 07:55 AM

I think my husband is going to flip....
My husband and I have been very happily married for almost 4 years and life is wonderful. Lately I've been having some bisexual thoughts and feelings and some other things rolling around in my brain as well. I've been doing a lot of reading about polyamory and some of the things in the forums here for a little bit. I feel like this might be something I'm discovering about myself, but I have no clue in hell how to even approach either subject with the hubby. He gets jealous fairly easily and I know that this is going to get sticky quickly if I get the balls to try to talk about it. I just know he'll completely freak out. Can anyone offer me anything that might help? I feel like I can't even talk to my friends about this and I can't imagine a world without him in it.

UpsideDown 12-28-2012 03:21 PM


I had the moment you're having after I'd been married about 5 years. Then, I sat and discussed it at a theory with DH for another 4 years, before falling a bit for my best (girl) friend. That pushed the "poly discussion" into the realm of a real chat, and we've been at this chat about a month.

You can read about my take here.

It's a rough and bumpy time, I hate to tell you, but what the people here will remind you is that you aren't necessarily going to be looking at a lifetime of repressing a bisexual nature OR a life without your DH. In the strictly mono world those are the two choices (well, that and cheating), but there are a wealth of different paths.

May I recommend two books?

The Ethical Slut (no, nobody is calling you a slut, it's just about how to handle more than one romantic/sexual relationship in an adult fashion)

Opening Up (it is like a beginner's primer for couples who find that they are faced with the possibility of opening their marriage)

I prefer the second book, but they are both helpful reads.

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