Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Hi . . . I'm new. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35634)

Moose17 12-23-2012 07:13 AM

Hi . . . I'm new.
Short version: my high school sweetheart and I, after a decade of loyal, happy monogamy, two kids, and more trials and tribulations than you can imagine, have decided to look into Poly.

Wifey came out to me as Bi a couple years ago, and it didn't seem to change anything for us, but she has recently developed feelings for a close friend who is not shy about identifying herself as Poly.

So, uh, we had to have some long talks, and do some reading. And here I am.

Apparently, compersion is a thing, and I feel it.


Long version coming eventually, probably in the Poly Relationships Corner. I'm still working through a lot.

kdt26417 12-23-2012 10:52 PM

Hello Moose17,
Welcome to our forum.

It sounds like you've been lucky in your efforts to explore polyamory so far. I'm sure you have many questions and concerns to field, and this is a good place to field them.

Kudos to you for adapting so well to your wife having a new love interest. Keep the channels of communication open and keep learning; you will come out okay; I believe that.

Glad to meet you here,
Kevin T.

Moose17 12-24-2012 12:37 AM

Thanks. I'm not planning on "opening up," myself, but I understand her situation is different. We're doing some reading (Tristan Taormino's Opening Up), and communicating well, and talking with friends who have some measure of experience with these things, but it's all pretty overwhelming sometimes. I never wanted anyone but her. Any other reading recommendations for a guy in my situation?

Side note: is there a reason my longer post giving a little detail and background hasn't shown up in the "Relationships Corner" forum yet? I double-posted on accident, because I didn't see the notice the first time that it needed moderator approval, but neither has appeared, and I tried to post this morning....

kdt26417 12-24-2012 11:11 PM

Re: your "Relationships Corner" post ... you'll want to contact one of the moderators or administrators about that. You can find them listed (with links to contacting them) at the following link:


Re: reading recommendations ... there's a thread for recommended books and websites at:


You've done well if you've started reading "Opening Up." I also recommend Franklin Veaux's website at:


Lots of excellent reading material there.

On this site, you may find the "search" feature helpful (top of page, a bit to the right). From there you can also do a "tag search" if you want.

A couple of quick book recommendations:
  • Polyamory: roadmaps for the clueless and hopeful ... by Anthony Ravenscroft.
  • Polyamory: the new love without limits ... by Deborah Anapol.
  • The Ethical Slut ... by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt.
Hope this is somewhat helpful.
Kevin T.

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