Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Fireplace (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=21)
-   -   generations differences for mum's and daughters on sex and sexuality. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3543)

redpepper 08-23-2010 07:01 AM

generations differences for mum's and daughters on sex and sexuality.

I read this from a Canadian news magazine that a friend of mine had. I thought it worth posting as we often talk about sex positive and sex negative on this forum in the context of poly. While this isn't a poly article, I still thought it relevant and interesting in understanding one another and how we "do" our own version of poly.

I invite you to take a read, and think on where we have all come in our culture as far as views on a woman's sexualness and sexuality. I would love to know your thoughts and comments...

janeb1958 08-23-2010 09:29 AM

My mom raised us with the notion that sex was a duty - NOT to be enjoyed. I think daughters should be raised to enjoy sex. I have quite a few friends whose daughters talk with them openly about sex -- I'd have given anything to have a mom like that -- to help me through so much! I was so naive - at 52, I still have a lot to learn!!!
I'm not saying make your daughter into a sex slave but at least be open!

redpepper 08-23-2010 09:39 PM

I am just wondering if you read the article Jane.

It seems to me that its about how girls may feel obliged to have sex just as much because they are made to feel that it should mean nothing to them. Or as far as I remember from my own thoughts on it. Its about slut culture and how girls are marketed the idea that their bodies mean everything and their mind nothing even after feminism and all the feminists have done to put women at a better standing. Its s back lash thing of an age old story I think, but it seems worse to me.

CandiGurl 08-30-2010 02:48 AM

This article is really hard to respond to, as I am not a Mother, I am 20 years old, and I never related much to my peers. When I say that, I mean to the MAJORITY of my peers. And, likely by extension the majority of society.

"Every generation thinks things are worse now than when they were growing up, Lloyd points out."

I found that statment very interesting, often I get from my friends 'God, kids are so stupid these days, we were never that dumb.' And I always like to point out that you like to see yourself as being better then you were, and we did stupid shit too.
I think that relates as well to how women, girls, see themselves in society. You're in a different place then you were at that age, and as much as we all have the capacity to relate to those younger, (even though they'll always deny it) you think differently then you used to, your life has changed.

They also mention the problem with feminism, as young girls have a much different image in their mind when they hear the word then our mothers, or grandmothers. My own mother is a very closed-minded woman, and I am thankful that I have been able to grow past this. I do recall in highschool, a student mentioned something about feminists don't shave their legs, and would never marry, and other ridiculous notions.

But we were never taught to see is as being any different. You hear crazy extreme stories on Tv and in the Media, and BAM. You've categorized it and thats that. Mystery solved. My english teacher did her best to try and change the opinions of my classmates, with likely very little success.

Dissing your friends, 'hey bitch!' Or slut, or whore, and I have heard much worse, I personally find very offensive. And any friends I have who do say things, know better then to say it to me. And I don't care what any of them says I know it affects them.

My best friend came to me and asked me, honestly, if I thought she was a slut. What was it that she did? She had sex with a guy that she kinda liked, but neither was after a relationship. :eek: Her other 'best friends' had called her a slut etc, and she was feeling very self-conscious. Sometimes I wanna slap girls for how stupid they can be.

I am sure I could go on and on.
But I will try and wrap up my little rant. (For those of you not reading tune in here!)
I think, in some circles, feminists have come a long away. Especially in regards to education and careers, and just the way people talk. But the media plays a heavy role in a teens life, and some of it just can't be erased. I think our society is much to focused on material items. Why? Because it sells! How else are you going to make money unless you sell your product?!
But at what cost?

I am sorry if I keep getting off-topic.
But don't give up RP, some people can still make their own choices. :)

GroundedSpirit 09-05-2010 04:54 PM

Hey RP,

It's a really difficult conundrum.
I passionately relate to girls/women who feel exploitation because of the media's portrayal of sex - but I guess I/we come down of the side of 'the media corrupts and exploits EVERYTHING it touches' rather than singling out sex.

Women's bodies are more sensationalized I think because they are more beautiful from our artistic senses (proportion, line etc).

Getting off track...........

The damage I see is that in the long run it perpetuates a sex negative leaning in many women. Being (embracing) a sexual creature requires more than an appealing package. Far more.
And I feel that when you are turned away because of the exploitation, you also turn away from embracing your natural sexuality. Therin is the loss - not only for others but for yourself. Having been fortunate to have relations with women who have totally embraced their natural sexuality and pursued the perfection of it I can say that the loss is significant.

We both tried to raise our daughter to have a positive view of sexuality and her own in particular and not fall victim to the trap of exploiters. It's an ongoing process so she doesn't have to fight that battle alone.

In our world being called a "good little slut" is the higest form of compliment and recognition of accomplishment


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:14 PM.