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-   -   I met someone, this is new for me. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34470)

DsmEvolution 12-05-2012 09:24 PM

I met someone, this is new for me.
So i've written on here before that I am currently in a relationship with my partner of almost 12 years and i'm now more open to the idea of being poly.

To that end, I have started seeing another guy recently. A bit closer to my age and we have a LOT in common. He's also in a relationship with a man for almost 5 years. Both of our partners know about this and are good with it so far.

Are there any pitfalls to this type of relationship that I need to be aware of? I love my partner very much, but I also really like this new guy. I just want to make sure that I don't hurt either of them.

xjustmymindx 12-08-2012 08:05 PM

pitfalls are entirely up to the people involved. keep up the communication with your primary...make sure you know how he's feeling through all of it. ask him how much he wants to know of your doings with NewGuy, and discuss the same with NewGuy.

constantly touch base with both of them about how they're feeling through all of it, and try to make everyone comfortable.

and this is just how i do things, but if my primary doesn't feel comfortable about something i do with a sweetie, or if he wants me to end it for one reason or another, we discuss it in depth...and, occasionally, i'll end it if needed. for me, my primary is my main focus, and if he puts the kibosh on me having other partners, i'll do it for him.

DsmEvolution 12-08-2012 10:49 PM

So basically keep on doing what I am doing. I'm trying to keep communication open as much as possible so we're all on the same page, especially with NewGuy.

This is very new for me, but somehow it all feels logical how I need to handle it, very interesting indeed

xjustmymindx 12-09-2012 01:40 PM

it's pretty organic, really: be honest, talk things out, don't hide anything. don't go looking for drama and it shouldn't happen if everyone involved is an adult about it.

blacknwhitelady 12-13-2012 02:18 AM

just be open
i agree be honest 100 percent. I'm kind of new to poly too. We've been practicing open marriage for over a year but I hadn't found anyone special until now and we've been together just over a month. my main concern is always making sure my husband doesn't feel left out. That's a key when your the one with multiple partners. So be honest open and considerate because it can get confused for you, your partners and the new person

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