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-   -   Greetings from Middle Tennessee (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34178)

philo 12-03-2012 01:56 AM

Greetings from Middle Tennessee
We're a married couple of 10 years, in our early thirties, living in Nashville, who've been discussing and easing into openness for about a year.

We became increasingly comfortable during the past five years of our marriage until the comfort turned into total discomfort, along with the realization that our relationship and we as individuals were being smothered to death.

Finally, one night at the dinner table and amidst the silence my wife blurted out "Would it make you happy if I let you flirt with another woman?" Naturally my response was one of confusion and extreme caution... "Umm.. Uh.. What do you mean?" lol. But, I found she was being sincere rather than sarcastic. Well, things progressed in our talks and discussions and we decided to tip-toe into openness.

Since then we've both met and talked with a few other people, and I've gone on a few dates. My wife now attends dancing classes with handsome latino men, which we both get a kick out of, her more than me, I am sure. Ha! I dance with her occasionally, and I used to be far too reserved for that. Plus I have competition now!

What amazes me is how the simple act of 'opening the door of the cage' and allowing each other to fly has healed our relationship in this way. We are now together simply because we love each other and choose to be, not because of a marriage contract or a 'moral' obligation imposed on us by a confused society. What a kill-joy that shit was!

We have not had sex with other people yet, however we are not closed to that possibility. It obviously is not our primary focus, hence our avoidance of the swinging scene. Whatever fulfills and grows our souls at the moment, that is our focus.

kdt26417 12-04-2012 06:08 AM

Hello philo,
Welcome to our forum.

Your story makes me glad, it says so much about the good in opening up a relationship, and it makes me feel glad for you that you have found freedom and happiness together. Imagine if you hadn't taken that dare, to talk about it in the first place! You would have been stuck in this unhappy situation, though it would have been the fault of neither of you. I hope there will be more stories like yours (the one with the happy ending) in the years to come.

I hope you'll enjoy your time on our site, and will find many threads that speak to you. Don't hesitate to post any thoughts or questions you may have.

Kevin T.

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