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-   -   Hello from Charlotte, NC (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33677)

msmichka 11-30-2012 04:57 AM

Hello from Charlotte, NC
Hi there,

My hubby and I are in a committed relationship but we've made the decision jointly that we want to have a sister wife. We want to share everything with this person and want to make it a committed relationship. Obviously polygamy isn't recognized in NC but it would be as committed a relationship as it can be.

does anyone have any pointers as to how we can find someone to share our lives with?

Emm 11-30-2012 05:25 AM

Welcome to the board.

You know how unattractive it is for a single person to go single-mindedly seeking another single person for the single purpose of marriage? Think of someone who won't get to know anyone who doesn't exactly match their checklist of desirable traits and then complains that there are no decent (unmarried opposite gender people) left in the world. Don't do the couple version of that. Meet people, date them, see where it goes. If you try to force a relationship into a shape it isn't naturally going to fit then it'll all end in tears.

As I've posted elsewhere, in order to differentiate yourselves from the million and one other couples looking for the exact same thing, perhaps you could expand a little on the specifics of your situation.

Do you have an age range in mind? Do you have children? Would it be ok if she has children? Would it be ok if she's married or in another relationship? Do you like going out to clubs or do you prefer dinner and a movie? Are you looking for someone for you, someone for your husband, or someone to "share"? If the latter, what happens if one of you falls for her and the other doesn't? What happens if she falls for one of you but not the other? Will she be treated as an equal in the relationship or will she be expected to defer to the Primary Couple™ in all things?

kdt26417 11-30-2012 09:34 PM

Hi msmichka,
Welcome to our forum.

On this site you can try the Dating & Friendships subforum. On other sites:


Some of those are dating sites, some are links to local poly groups. You can also google "polyamory" with the name of your state or city, and see what turns up.

Be patient, as this can take some time. In the meantime, have a look around on this site and read about what does and doesn't work. Prepare yourself for the time when you do meet someone.

Glad you're here.
Kevin T.

msmichka 12-02-2012 04:34 AM

Thanks, Kevin

I appreciate your help. This was exactly the kind of help I was looking for. I'll check out these sites and move forward from there.

Thanks again!

kdt26417 12-02-2012 07:31 AM

No problem.

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