Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Confused (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33474)

Romancestar93 11-25-2012 04:20 PM

:confused: So i've just recently started looking into poly. This was the first site i was introduced to. I love the idea of poly, but im not sure how to bring it up to my other half. we've discussed similar situations, but im nothing like long-term. I would really like to look into it more...any suggestions?

Stevenjaguar 11-25-2012 04:35 PM

Let the friendship come first, then accept what happens. I think most people were in poly relationships, like me, before they even heard the term.

Romancestar93 11-25-2012 06:20 PM

i meant nothing long-term, and thats more what im into. We kinda have someone we bring in every once in a while, but i want more then just an occasional three-some, and he just wants the three-some :( I don't know how to ask for more

kdt26417 11-26-2012 11:14 PM

Hello Romancestar,
Welcome to our forum.

So, right now you just have the occasional three-some, but you'd like something more long-term? If so, you could sit down with your other half, and say something like, "Honey, I've enjoyed the three-somes we've had. In fact I'd like to try more, perhaps something more long-term. Is that something you could consider? Or, can we do some kind of compromise?"

No matter how nicely you ask, the answer may still be, "No." You have to be prepared for that. Sometimes we have to make hard decisions about what we can or can't live with, what is a hard boundary for us or a deal-breaker, and how long we can wait if we think the other person might eventually have a change of heart.

Hopefully you'll find some helpful tips as you look around and post on our site.

Glad to have you aboard,
Kevin T.

Romancestar93 11-27-2012 06:34 AM

Thank you for the advice :) thats exactly what i was looking for

kdt26417 11-28-2012 07:47 AM

No problem.

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