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-   -   Poly community nearby? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3311)

anotherbo 07-26-2010 09:33 PM

Poly community nearby?
Howdy folks.

Suddenly I find myself surprised to have a strong interest in the polyamorous lifestyle, after my 10-year monogamous marriage ended about a year ago.

I believe I've always felt polyamorous in my heart, but didn't feel comfortable exploring it due to my own negative feelings about being shallow or a "male slut", "wanting to have my cake and eat it too", etc. And also I doubted that this could work in real life.

Its been energizing (to say the least) to discover that there are MANY people interested in, and living, these kind of lifestyles.

I'm not sure exactly what sort of relationship (or relationships) fits my emotional makeup, and I'd love some advice from people here on the site. But even more, I'd like to figure out if there is a polyamorous community in my small Alaska town. What I really want is to sit down with some people who have lived a poly relationship, and gently pick their brains. But I'm not sure how to find the right people, without oversharing with my friends and acquaintances.

Some basics about me and my emotional/sexual makeup: 40 year-old man, slightly bisexual. Strong feelings of compersion, low jealousy. Very intrigued by the idea of group sex; I probably would have tried it at some point, if any of my girlfriends (or my wife) had been interested. Generally uninterested in having sex with anyone I don't know well and have strong positive feelings about. I think I'd be very into a LTR with 3-4 or more people where there is at least some group sex involved, but I'm uneasy about the potential fragility of such a situation.

Ideas? Comments?

/hugs and thanks in advance,

Anotherbo :)

clairegoad 07-26-2010 10:04 PM

You didn't tell us where you live (generally, of course, this is the Internet).

In the Tampa Bay area, there are some good poly groups. In the San Francisco Bay area there are some poly groups.

Try searching Meetup.com for polyamory and your zip code. If that doesn't work.. try variations of poly.

Realistically, some areas have fewer people, and therefore fewer polys.

I'm starting with just myself also... have met some amazing people... in interesting relationships. I'm just experimenting as I go to see what's the best way to do all of this.-- without really having goals.

The polys have some excellent advice about communication and relationships.. that would be good for ANYONE.

Hang around... there's lots to learn here. Just remember, we're all at different places in the journey... so be gentle with your fellow travelers.

AutumnalTone 07-26-2010 11:55 PM

We have some folks from Alaska here, so you'll just have to get their attention. Try posting a personal on the North American board or try to set up a meetup on the Meetings and Events board.

FormerUnicorn 07-27-2010 02:09 AM


This group is mostly in Anchorage and the Valley from what I can tell, but if you're just looking to meet people to talk, this could be a place to start.

redpepper 07-27-2010 07:22 AM

have a look around these forums and read, read, read. There is lots to discover and learn. Good luck on your journey. :)

anotherbo 07-30-2010 07:50 PM

Thank you for these replies. All four of you wrote things I found helpful.

As so often when I try to express myself with the written word, I am unsatisfied with the results. The part I wrote about myself didn't reflect the essential me at all.

I'll take another stab at it when I can.

There is so much inspiration in these forums. So many intensely personal stories, written so honestly and fearlessly. Incredible emotional journeys. Thank you all for sharing so much, especially (so far as I've read) Formerunicorn, Redpepper and Erato.

Anotherbo :)

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