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-   -   Exploring A New Way Of Life (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32955)

TroubledTigress 11-15-2012 09:43 AM

Exploring A New Way Of Life
Hello, it's very nice to meet you all ^^ I've spent some time reading about the site and the like to see what people post about and how people respond and it's really neat to see such a helpful community. Spending the vast majority of my time online, I can say I don't often see that.

Anyways, so I'm new to polyamory. Like, a week new in fact. Not entirely new to the idea, or the definitions, but new to practicing it. However, I don't really have all that many questions at the moment. Surprising perhaps, but once I explain how I came here you might see why.

For a long time I've had a fairly open view to the way I see life. I've always thought of it as, people should be able to live as they please as long as their is no intentional harm to others. Of course their are logical exclusions to this, but hopefully you get the basic idea. So even if I did not always agree with someone else, they had a right to what makes them happy.

I'm 27 years old, Canadian and recently have come to realize I'm pansexual and most likely polyamorous.

I am currently married and have been for 7 and 1/2 years, and though it's not been a perfect marriage or life, I am deeply in love with my husband. I need him because he is my rock in this world, and I want him for many reasons. Him and I have been through hell in back in our emotional lives and for the most part we are all the other has, as we have no family. And yes this means that he and I were married young, at 19 in fact.

I've known a couple polyamorous people, but until recently never gave it any serious thought for myself. I think it's perhaps the fact a friend of mine recently became actively poly. He's always been in an open relationship with his wife, but just never found someone else before now. And I've been talking to him and asking questions the entire way. Thankfully he's open and easygoing so there's no uncomfortable moments.

Due to this I learned a lot and came to realize that there has been nothing wrong with the odd feelings of attraction I've had towards other people while in relationships. There's nothing wrong with me, developing feelings for other people while I still love my husband with all of my heart. And I have to say, this has lifted a -HUGE- weight from my chest, for I've always felt I have so much love to give^^

It also helped that at the same time I was developing a close friendship with someone, and because of this realization, it has become more then just an awesomely close friendship and deep bond... she is now my wonderful girlfriend!

Since that happened, I have been spending a lot of time reading up on polyamory as the subject really interests me. And so many of the values ring true to my core values for life. It's a wonderful thing to find this comfort in one self.

The reason I joined the site was to talk to people I guess and find out how it is for others, and seek a bit of help, but I'll post about that elsewhere. For now I just wanted to give a hello and introduce myself with a hopefully, not too long post! :D

kdt26417 11-15-2012 09:47 PM

Hello Tigress,
Welcome to our forum.

It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your new girlfriend; I hope we can help with whatever questions or concerns you may have. Poly is a way of life that not too many people out there understand, so it is great that you have been open to this as a concept.

Have a look around on the site, and post more when you feel the time is right.

Glad to have you aboard,
Kevin T.

JaneQSmythe 11-15-2012 11:41 PM

Congratulations on learning about yourself and developing a new meaningful relationship!

Out of curiosity, how is your husband reacting to your new girlfriend? Do they know and like each other? Is your husband poly as well? Your girlfriend?

Sounds like this is all pretty new... feel free to post and ask questions as they come up.


PS. I found the length of your post to be about perfect - long enough to touch on several important points but not so long as to get confusing.

TroubledTigress 11-16-2012 01:13 AM

Thank you so much for the warm welcome Kevin and JaneQ ^^

I've certainly been browsing the site and even typed up a bit of a blog. It said it had to be approved tho, I think that might be because I hadn't gotten the link to fully qualify my account. Not sure yet, but guess I'll see. Saved it just in case XD

As for your questions JaneQ;

My husband seems to be reacting well to my new girlfriend, since I had told him about my feelings for her when I discussed being poly with him before actually pursuing her. They don't know each other well, as my girlfriend is long distance, but they've spoken some online so far and seem to get along well. He even said she seems cute with her personality and was rather amused. Neither of them have any experience with polyamory before now, but they're both open people. I don't think my husband would be interested in being poly himself, though he could surprise me. He's just never been one much into dating.


kdt26417 11-16-2012 10:09 PM

I don't know of the protocols for getting approved for a blog; I'm still somewhat of a newbie myself and haven't really visited the blog section. I'm guessing your post will get approval soon. :)

Glad to hear your husband has been positive and open-minded about this. Perhaps he is "monogamous but poly-friendly."

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