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-   -   GAH! Need to vent, so here is a thread.. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3259)

geminigirl 07-20-2010 12:57 AM

GAH! Need to vent, so here is a thread..
 
My ex-husband (who I was still with when we "discovered" poly) just cheated on his (monogamous) girlfriend. He just texted me to tell me this; five minutes later, *she* called me in tears (she has no friends in town) and wanted to talk. I have a friend coming for dinner so I had to get her off the phone as quickly as possible, but I feel sorry for her.

Am I crazy for not wanting to get involved? Right now, ethical non-monogamy certainly trumps cheating. :eek:

Feel free to join me in the venting thread...

MonoVCPHG 07-20-2010 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geminigirl (Post 36721)
My ex-husband (who I was still with when we "discovered" poly) just cheated on his (monogamous) girlfriend. He just texted me to tell me this; five minutes later, *she* called me in tears (she has no friends in town) and wanted to talk. I have a friend coming for dinner so I had to get her off the phone as quickly as possible, but I feel sorry for her.

Am I crazy for not wanting to get involved? Right now, ethical non-monogamy certainly trumps cheating. :eek:

Feel free to join me in the venting thread...

Holy crap this sucks. I like them both and still I don't want to get involved either despite having a level of friendship with his girlfriend. This simply sucks :(

geminigirl 07-20-2010 04:11 AM

Yeah, it seems it's a very awkward way of breaking up without having to sit down and just break up. Sad for everyone involved. :(

redpepper 07-20-2010 06:10 AM

Oh I am so sorry to hear that. I guess poly's with monos sometimes get pushed to the edge. If a mono can't give a poly some kind of freedom, then cheating is the risk that is taken for both. No one can go against their nature for ever. Something has to give.

MonoVCPHG 07-20-2010 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 36760)
If a mono can't give a poly some kind of freedom, then cheating is the risk that is taken for both.


This should be added to the Poly lessons learned thread Lilo.

SchrodingersCat 07-27-2010 08:44 AM

I don't think it's crazy wanting to stay out of the drama. He's your ex, you've "done your time" with his drama. It's not your fault she hasn't made more effort to make friends. And she can call an old friend from where she used to live.


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