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-   -   Needs ideas (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3216)

gomugirl1656 07-13-2010 03:08 PM

Needs ideas
 
I am in a relationship with a primary partner (male) to whom I am legally married (11 years) we have an excellent honest and open relationship.

I also have a relationship with another male (for 8 years) who lives in another part of the state. The three hour drive prevents frequent travel back and forth but we do get together at least once a quarter.

On our recent visit we discussed having more time together. He is in questionable health and needs some up close and personal type support. He's not asking me to leave my husband he is just looking for a little help taking care of things while he is ill.

We don't know the extent of the illness or the exact nature or timeframe of the help he will need. Our current situation prevents us from moving one way or the other. I was thinking about temp wifeing for a period until he is back in better health. My primary seems a little iffy about being without me for what could be a month or so. Does anyone else have a distance relationship that works out that can offer me some ideas about how this might play out and what to do or not do that will make it easier for all of us? I'm open to even the wildest suggestions to give the guys the time they need. Thanks, Gomugirl

Quath 07-14-2010 05:34 AM

I have heard of similar situations but the people were all local. All I can suggest is maybe trying to stay with your boyfriend during the week and husband on weekends. The only other possibility I can think of is renting an RV if that would help the moving situation.

gomugirl1656 07-14-2010 11:26 AM

Needs Ideas
 
Thanks, that is a good suggestion I will bring it up at our next meeting and see how the guys feel about it.

redpepper 07-15-2010 05:04 AM

I don't see why that wouldn't work as long as you work out the boundaries that the three of you would have. Anything is possible. For us it takes creating some boundaries and plans knowing that things could change. Most often than not it is just anxiety around what could be rather than what is at the time. Easy does it. Have a really good talk about the details, make sure everyone is getting their needs met, knows that is expected and that no one has any assumptions of how it will play out. Go over some unforeseeable scenarios and then go for it, knowing that stuff comes up and that you will all need to be patient with each other and check in regularly.


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