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paintscribe 07-13-2010 12:16 PM

once upon a december
Good Morning,

I am fairly new to poly and fairly new to romantic relationships. I'm a bit odd in that I find few people attractive. I was raised very religious and only recently underwent a serious questioning of my faith and prior beliefs. The aftereffects of that mental battle allowed me to evaluate some other things I was experiencing and denying.

So, a few months ago I was honest with myself and a married couple I was friends with. Now, I'm dating them. Our relationship has had several quirks and has settled into a very odd shaped triangle which is still morphing. I struggle with being a "secondary" in the relationship. I deeply desire to become part of their lives in a more permanent sense, but from continued discussions with my GF, I think I need to be able to be satisfied if that never happens.

I also had an odd dating relationship with another guy when I started dating them. I say odd, because it began and continues with the intention on both our parts of not becoming a "primary" relationship. It feels more like a friendship with benefits. I have continued my relationship with him and have found it helpful for some of the times when I felt like an intrusion into my couple's lives. He also helps give me someone to talk about when I get grilled about my dating life, why I'm not married yet, etc. by friends/family who would not be comfortable with poly.

I sometimes think it might be nice to try to find one more relationship, one which might progress to have a committed live-in relationship to come home to to. but adding another person to my schedule just might knock me off the deep end. :)

I'm also into RPG games (more story, less rules), cycling, gardening, knitting,
fantasy, scifi, have 2 cats, and a 50gallon fish tank. Plus I have a smallish freelance graphic design business on the side.

Oh, and thanks to my girlfriend I'm a fan of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. any PBAL fellows?

clairegoad 07-13-2010 12:47 PM

not a PBAL fan--- but I am a knitter.. PM me if you want to talk knitting.

Don't know where you are.. but there are many polyamory meetup groups at meetup.com, or google polyamory and your city name. I have a telephone interview for a job later today. I've already checked out the poly groups (yes!!! groups!!!) in the area.. (okay, it helps that "the area" is near San Francisco - quite poly friendly.)

I've been delighted with meeting the wise and wonderful polys in my area (Tampa) . It seems the sci-fi, Wicca and SCA are three areas where polys are comfortable. Which makes sense- those are groups which accept people as they are... and encourage personal growth.

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