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-   -   Exploring options in Houston, TX (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32148)

SL21JMH 11-06-2012 10:42 PM

Exploring options in Houston, TX
I don't know at what point I came to a realization that indeed it does take a village. Hello everyone! I'm Monica. I am happily married and recently we have been discussing the idea of a triad. Because my husband and I both understand the implications and stigma attached to an "alternative" lifestyle, I decided to look online. I have found this site very informative and made me feel at ease.
My husband and I have a very open relationship and the idea of having someone else in our lives is exciting and scary at the same time.
We are both professional people, social and outgoing. We have never been in the company of other practicing polys. My fear comes from being rejected by my loved ones, especially because we are all practicing Christians. It's not necessarily accepted to be different. I know my family wouldn't understand and neither would our friends. I've had relationships with other women, but this time around I come with a husband. It's not about fling, it's about having an additional team member to help pick up the slack where needed. It's about sharing an abundance of love. Even if I get to meet friends here and use this medium as an outlet for my thoughts, fears and hopes. I hope to get feedback from those more experienced.

Tang 11-07-2012 03:05 PM

I also have the problem of becoming isolated from family and friends alike, its not often you can meet someone in your area that thinks of relationships similar to you.

LilacViolin 11-07-2012 05:01 PM

Oh, I need to follow this one. I've felt like my relationship (first triad, now girlfriend) has been a "dirty little secret" that we don't share with others. Feels like it invalidates things. How does a person live a poly relationship, in public, without harming other relationships?

Tang 11-07-2012 07:44 PM

I once thought about describing it as FWB, but came to realize it is so much more than that. No one I know I could picture taking THAT king of news well. In the end though, what has to be done has to be done. If family really loves you but can't understand then they will try and dissect it, if they can't accept it, then when is all said and done that's their problem.(I sound mean). If other people are looking down at you because of how you choose to live, smile and be thankful for the love and loves in your life.

kdt26417 11-07-2012 08:58 PM

Greetings Monica,
Welcome to our forum.

Any feedback we can offer that will help, just let us know. Let us know if you have any questions, etc.

Check out our various threads, use our search features, and see what calls to you. It is difficult when you can't be out to your family (or have to face their rejection). Sometimes it helps to have some like-minded friends in person. You might try googling "Houston polyamory" and see if anything turns up.

I hope this site can also be an outlet for you, and a source of new friends.

Kevin T.

SL21JMH 11-08-2012 03:57 AM

I know. I know I have to live for me and my husband. It's hard. It's hard becoming close to someone and not being able to tell them that I have fallen in love with them. I've come home and told him about how much I want to be with her and how much I know he'd enjoy meeting her... but I can't approach her. She would reject me. She'd shame me. Tell my friends. They'd talk about me and shun me. :( I know how it all plays out.

kdt26417 11-08-2012 07:10 PM

Well that's extra harsh, if one of the people you can't tell is someone you're interested in. I don't suppose there's any back-door way to approach this? Such as chatting with her about a show about polyamory (e.g. Showtime's "Polyamory: married and dating"). Maybe you can get a philosophical discussion going without admitting your own polyamorousness.

I definitely recommend searching for a poly group in your area; I think it would be good for your morale. This site is nice too, but there's something about being able to talk with people in a live setting, who you don't have to worry about shaming or shunning you.

I hope things work out for you somehow.
Kevin T.

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