Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Hello, this is me. Please judge. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32140)

Tang 11-06-2012 10:01 PM

Hello, this is me. Please judge.
 
My name is Larry, I have many nicknames which include: Bert, Charlie, Terminator, TJ and a couple others.

I'm actually married right now, I'm not happily married and she knows it. I'm not on this ( or these kind) site to look for anyone to cheat on my wife, nor do I want that/those person/people to feel like I'm leaving her for them, that's sort of why I put single on my status. In any case she wouldn't want to be poly anyways. Unfortunately I am without a car right now and have nowhere I can go. I am trapped in my own doing, and now I suffer for it. I asked her once about being poly she said "No, I'm too selfish."

Poly is not the reason I am not happy with my wife, I don't want anyone to think I'm leaving her to go and be poly with someone, that's just wrong in my book. We have our own issues, problems, etc...

kdt26417 11-07-2012 08:19 PM

Hello Larry,
Welcome to our forum.

Sounds like you may be in a bit of a state of confusion concerning what you want at this point. Is polyamory something you want, and is it a dealbreaker for you?

The other question is, do you want to try to save your marriage? If not, then you need to set goals that will make it possible to divorce and then pursue those goals. But I can't tell if that's for sure what you'd want.

Sure your wife has said "no" about poly one time, but it's possible she could change her mind in the future. Can your marriage be fixed? What would you need in order to feel like it had been fixed? What parts of it are broken?

Do you and your wife get along? Could you separate amicably? What would need to happen so you could get a car and have a place of your own to go?

It seems to me that you are facing many challenges, and the thing to do is pick out just one challenge at a time and work on that. Otherwise, it may all get overwhelming, and leave you floundering.

I hope this site is of some help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.


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