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-   -   Now What? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=320)

johnjenny 05-31-2009 10:30 PM

Now What?
Ok so we are an engaged couple that love each other very much. We have discussed findind another woman to develope a relationship with. This is where the question comes in. Where would we look to find this woman? Obviously bringing another woman into our relationship presents a whole new set of dating delimas. We got flustered talking to each other while persuing a monogomous relationship :confused: where would we look for a woman that is open to polyamory?

RaleighGuy 06-02-2009 03:16 PM

I'm completely new to this, but I have some questions. Are you looking for a woman for BOTH of you? If not, for which one? There is another part of this forum where people are trying to meet others, for specific relationships. Maybe you could find someone there. Just be clear on what you want/need.

johnjenny 06-02-2009 08:46 PM

thanks for the reply. Yes we are looking for a woman for both of us to have a relationship with. We looked at the dating section here and are just wondering if there are any other resources in terms of meeting someone that may be interested in polyamory.

WaywardDruid 06-02-2009 10:33 PM

Could Try the Dating Sites
You could try some to the Poly Dating Sites:


And I'd also recommend lovemore.com but their New Beta Site is still not working very well and you might find that one frustrating.

Of course since you seek the ever Elusive Unicorn
also known as the HBB I'm sure frustration will be part of your search, if it isn't already.

Just Me,

yoxi 06-07-2009 12:37 PM


"Of course since you seek the ever Elusive Unicorn also known as the HBB..."
Human Beat Box? Of course, it's nice to be in bed with someone vocal :)

AutumnalTone 06-13-2009 02:43 AM

The Hot Bi Babe who is looking to get involved with a couple is called a Unicorn for this reason--it's a mythical creature! There generally aren't women seeking a couple to get involved with, though some are certainly open to it, should it happen.

The problem is that it's unlikely to find somebody who's going to connect with you both equally. The problem is compounded if you're expecting to find somebody to connect with the two of you and not be involved with anybody else. If you do find somebody interested in the two of you, she's likely to share a stronger attachment with one of you. That can work, as long as you don't mind the uneven attachment.

If you really want to hunt a unicorn, I'd suggest looking for a woman who's never been in a poly relationship before. I suspect it's more likely to find a woman open to a poly arrangement than one experienced with it. (Actually, we know a couple who has found girlfriends in that fashion with some regular success, though the women are usually involved with somebody else, and the involvement with the couple is a first foray into poly.)

NeonKaos 06-14-2009 05:03 PM

You also have to figure that it's going to be like it is when you are a single person "looking" for a relationship. You usually meet someone and get involved with them when you are LEAST looking for it. When someone (of any gender or orientation) is REALLY LOOKING, they tend to put out a vibe that says so, and that has been known to have the opposite result they are trying to achieve.

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