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-   -   new and just need to talk it out... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31868)

suddentwist 11-05-2012 06:19 PM

new and just need to talk it out...
I had a threesome 10 years ago a couple of times it was all bad my ex was very jelous it ended and so did my realtion ship with him eventualy. I have been with my husband now for 8 years alsmost. It is an amazing strong relationship. He was always against stuff like that. He only believed in manogomy. He is a buisnessman and can talk with anyone. He is flirtious but he tells me how he conversations he has and we joke about what a flirt he is. I trust him completely.
About a year ago i was pregnant with our second child i had horible hip pain and went for a orhtopedic massage from one of my husbands buisness networking groups. Kelly fixed my hip and gave an amazing massage. We saw her and her boss a couple of months later at a party and she was massaging me there. She had a few and i put it off as her being a bit tipsey. John saw her 2 times for massages and then stopped.
I had the baby, our relationship has been wonderful. He had "joked" about having a threesome. My husband went on a indoor rock climbing networking event with Kellys boss and his other staff. we are all fb friends and we invited her to a buisness overview at our house she brought her bf at the time. A few weeks later she had a Halloween party and told me she was broken up with her bf. I went cuz we didnt have a sitter but didnt stay long. The next weekend, I asked if she was coming to another Halloween party with the buisness group. She said she had plans but might want to break them. She met us there and bought me a drink and basically flirted with me the entire night. SHe even got me to dance which I dont really do. She rubbed my leg and giggled all night. She asked if my husband would mind if she took me to a hotel. I told her he would have a problem and there was no way I would leave him out of it. One thing led to another and we were all together it was amazing. I had all the feelings you get when something is new. I wanted to see her again and so did my husband. We made plans for the following weekend. That was amazing. My husband has only had one other girl than me (now 2) and he gets very attached and he wants what I have now found out is a polymorus relationship. I was a little taken back but i really care about her. None of us have experience with this. She has only had 2 other men partners and I am the one who is "experienced" with the 2 threesomes i had 10 years ago... Im a little scared to share my husband but i know he already has a conection and I do to. She was really freaked out about being with my husband but i more or less assured her it was fine. I guess i just need to hear some words of encouragement.
Also my daughter is 6 and I dont know how not to blow her world up if this becomes serious like i feel it is. Thanks!

nycindie 11-05-2012 07:03 PM

It sounds like this is all very focused on the sex. Which is fine, but that's not all there is to polyamory.

If you want to have a successful polyamorous arrangement with the three of you, then take the time to get to know each other better through other, non-sexual activities. Also keep talking about your feelings with your husband. If you feel concerned about your daughter, then it would be good to limit the times she is around her - many polyfolk do not allow their children to know other partners until they are sure they are trustworthy and going to be there for a long time. But children can be, and have been, successfully raised in a poly environment and be quite healthy and open-minded because of it.

suddentwist 11-05-2012 07:11 PM

That is are plan at the moment :) We also are not plannning on bringing the kids into it at this point. Im just a future thinker and seem to get anxious about that along with other friends and or family finding out.

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