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-   -   One small step for poly, one giant leap for lostlion :) (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31826)

lostlion 11-05-2012 02:58 PM

One small step for poly, one giant leap for lostlion :)
 
Hi I'm new here and if you didn't read my Intro post then I'll quickly run it through for you.
I'm from RI, USA, I've been in a 13 year mono relationship, have 2 kids, and have been poly/open before I knew what polyamory even was. Meaning I knew I was different but it wasn't "politically correct" to be with more the one person at the time for me. FYI: It wasn't just the sex it was the feeling of being complete that I couldn't get.
Anyway, my girlfriend/mother of my children of 13 years did not know I was poly-curious until 2 days ago :) YES I TOLD HER!!! YEAHHHH!!! The weight has been lifted and I feel great to have gotten it off my chest but....... I'm still not sure how she feels about it :( She didn't seem thrilled but also she didn't seem mad either. I just hope she doesn't try to sweep it under the rug because, you guys and gals know, it's not going away that easy.
I love her very much and don't get me wrong she ultimately decides my fate because I couldn't see myself without her. But that also doesn't mean it just goes away all of a sudden. I just hope she talks to me about it and understands. She is bi-sexual so I'm not saying it's the same but she should understand some what :/ (I'm straight by the way lol )
Well hopefully I can meet some nice people here and maybe make some early connections :) Because right now I'm on top of the world :D
Thanks for listening to my wonderful rant everyone....

Anneintherain 11-06-2012 08:54 AM

Congratulations on getting over that hurdle, that's some scary stuff huh?!?! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that she is open to hearing you out more on this, since you didn't come at her with some sort of "must have now!" attitude.

I do hope that now that you've confided this in her you are able to focus on that for awhile and maybe putting off connecting with other poly peeps in person for a bit until you process this with her and can let her know you want to network and talk and learn from the groups? I think that is what I would want from a partner - finding out they were reaching out to others before they'd really worked through things with me might scare me off. Slow and steady and all that - I know it's exciting and freeing to have it out in the open, and you've been thinking about it forever, but I just don't want you to forget that for her it's new and not taking it carefully could backfire so badly.

Doesn't sound like that is your intent, and hope I'm not raining on your parade, I am happy for you, I just like to look out for all parties involved and all that :) I wish you well!

lostlion 11-06-2012 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anneintherain (Post 164606)
Congratulations on getting over that hurdle, that's some scary stuff huh?!?! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that she is open to hearing you out more on this, since you didn't come at her with some sort of "must have now!" attitude.

I do hope that now that you've confided this in her you are able to focus on that for awhile and maybe putting off connecting with other poly peeps in person for a bit until you process this with her and can let her know you want to network and talk and learn from the groups? I think that is what I would want from a partner - finding out they were reaching out to others before they'd really worked through things with me might scare me off. Slow and steady and all that - I know it's exciting and freeing to have it out in the open, and you've been thinking about it forever, but I just don't want you to forget that for her it's new and not taking it carefully could backfire so badly.

Doesn't sound like that is your intent, and hope I'm not raining on your parade, I am happy for you, I just like to look out for all parties involved and all that :) I wish you well!

Thank you :) Yes it was beyond scary :/
Nope don't worry you are not raining on my parade :) You are absolutely right if I jump the gun it will definitely backfire. In all the time I've had to think about the scenario of when I told her I tried to prepare myself as much as possible. But life can always throw you that unforeseen loop you never thought possible :P By networking with my girlfriend of course I'm hoping to achieve the "seeing is believing" factor. I'd hate to say it but my girlfriend is your typical "see no evil,hear no evil" kind of person where she will not mention or talk unless it is in her face. It sucks that I have to do that after all these years but hopefully it not all for not.


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