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-   -   OK cupid question (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31355)

snlawesome 10-31-2012 11:50 PM

OK cupid question
I had heard that OK Cupid was a site that worked well for looking for a poly relationship, so I signed up. And I must have done something wrong because I am not seeing anyway to specify that we are a couple looking for more. Any tips ?? :confused:

Precious1 11-01-2012 05:15 AM

OKC does not have an option for "couples" seeking.
Best bet I would recommend is you each post your own profile, and include a note showing the partner's profile as well, and that you would be looking as a couple.
I have seen mods delete profiles that were from couples. And it would be hard to find matches as I'm sure you both would answer the questions slightly differently.
Just be honest about yourself and what you are seeking in the profile.

clairegoad 11-01-2012 11:13 AM

There's also a thread around here that shows members' okcupid profile name..

I have learned to write a better profile by reading LOTS of other profiles. --then I deleted mine when my relationships were going well...

It's also interesting when you find someone you already know.. and compare them to their profile.

nycindie 11-01-2012 12:22 PM

Yes, OKCupid is very much a great place for polyamorists to meet other people open or already practicing poly. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you can create a profile there as a couple, since poly isn't automatically about couples finding thirds, of course. It is generally recommended and accepted that those already in committed relationships each have their own profile, since a couple is comprised of two individuals each with their own personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. It does help with the questions designed to find matches, as another poster already stated.

Many polyfolk will link to their partners' profiles at the top of their own and/or include pics of them together. If you are looking as a couple for someone to only be with both of you, your choices and responses will be much more limited than if you date separately but you have more of a shot at OKC than most other places.

Also try polymatchmaker.com - I believe they have a couple option for profiles (I'm not certain about that, though).

Helo 11-02-2012 12:09 AM

Polymatchmaker is a neat idea but they seem kinda...empty. I could only find like five people in the LA area and that was with VERY generous search terms.

snlawesome 11-02-2012 10:59 PM

ok thanks. We met on yahoo personals, so the online dating thing isn't new to us, but it's a whole lot more complicated this way LOL

JustUs 11-03-2012 10:52 AM

My wife and I each have an individual profile on OKC as well as a profile we share. Also, relationship status of "Available" typically indicates poly or married, but not always. Often times its married but separated. Hope this helps and good luck!

CielDuMatin 11-03-2012 01:05 PM

"Available" can also mean "married and cheating" - it's always worth finding out exactly what that means for the individual, before assuming. :)

JustUs 11-10-2012 01:16 PM

Very True!!!


Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 163913)
"Available" can also mean "married and cheating" - it's always worth finding out exactly what that means for the individual, before assuming. :)

RfromRMC 11-11-2012 03:12 PM

If you specifically wanted to find couples, polymatchmaker would probably be better than okcupid. (Except for the fact it's a smaller site with fewer members.)

With okcupid, if you see "Available" instead of "Single" as the relationship status, that's usually the closest thing to a poly flag you can get.

ALSO: Dig through the match questions. Be sure to answer any on polyamory and/or open relationships that they have. (As well as any regarding jealousy, etc.) Then rate them as Mandatory, or at least very important. Then when you look at another person's profile questions, click the option "Show questions I care about", to see how they answered them.

And of course you can say polyamory and polyamorous in your profile and do keyword searches for those who have done the same.

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