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JohnnyEnglish 10-27-2012 09:02 PM

Possibly Poly
"Sarah" and I are a mature couple from the south east of England. We have been together for fourteen years and are very happy. Over the last couple of years my health has deteriorated to the point where I can no longer be the dutiful partner that I once was. We have discussed at great length the prospect of her having another man in her life and she has now said that a guy for a longterm meaningful relationship would be lovely.
It feels like we are now in a wonderful place to start our new life and I hope she finds the right man to put the fun back in her life. I love her so very much.

WaywardDruid 10-27-2012 10:46 PM

Perhaps needs to be moved to Dating & Friendship section ??

Just Me,

kdt26417 10-29-2012 09:38 PM

Hello JohnnyEnglish,
Welcome to our forum.

Don't hesitate to post any questions you may have ... You sound like a lovely/loving couple that is just in a time of transition.

Glad to have you aboard,
Kevin T.

JohnnyEnglish 10-29-2012 09:44 PM

Thank you for your kind words. The hardest part is finding someone that we both trust to make Sarah happy and to take car of her. If we found that special guy for her we would both be truly contented.

kdt26417 10-30-2012 08:09 PM

Well, I wish you the very best luck in your search.

opalescent 10-31-2012 03:13 PM

You're a kind soul JohnnyE. Not everyone could make that shift in their mind and be content with the possibilty that their beloved wife has needs you can no longer meet and has to go elsewhere to meet those needs.

You may find you have unexpected emotions when she finds someone. This is very common. Fear, jealousy, envy, sadness, unhappiness - even while acknowledging her joy - are possible. If this happens - and it's not inevitable - allow yourself to feel them. You have the right to feel your feelings, even if they are ugly, not what you expect from yourself and directly contradict what you happily agreed to do with for Sarah. Allowing yourself to feel, even if very painful, is the only way to move beyond those feelings to just feeling the geniune joy I believe you will also experience.

Best of luck!

JohnnyEnglish 11-01-2012 07:38 AM

Thank you for your kindness and wise words. Sarah is and always has been a beautiful, vibrant and fun loving woman and before I fell ill we had a wonderful life together. For two years plus now she has remained loyal despite me trying to persuade her to find someone not only to put the joy back in her life but to love her and support her during these difficult times. As I lay here I gain comfort from imagining her happy and smiling, I can tell you that the compersion that I feel reduces my pain more than any medicine ever could. If when I leave this world I can do so knowing Sarah will be safe, supported and happy it will ease my path. To any guy lucky enough to be with her in the future I ask only that he be good to her for I shall be watching down from the heavens. I know that Sarah pops in to this site once in a while and so I say to her that I love you darling and always will.

kdt26417 11-01-2012 07:03 PM

That is a touching thought, that you are feeling your mortality, but remain highly concerned about Sarah's welfare. I can see Sarah doesn't take it for granted. It seems that the two of you have a tender relationship, with many happy memories together.

Kevin T.

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